Surrounded by papers

Currently preparing my assessments resource file. I wonder if 1 volume is enough..from the looks of it, one ring file doesnt seem sufficient.

U know how i spoke about my supervisors and lecturers.. I found out that i should be glad and grateful i’hv got CL. Apparently SW is even worse. Heard from one of her supervison grp members that she said nothing positive about her work. She was also critised for having an accent that is not australian(?!!?!??!) and a melodic voice (!?!?!?!). Apparently, she is also harsher on mature age students. Everyone seems to be on tippy toes around her now. Including me.

Weekend approaching. and then resource file. and then exam on tuesday. Time files.

I wonder why do ppl want to do IQ test when they have enough evidence since pri sch that this poor kid isnt doing well in almost every subject but home econs and languages. Should we subject this person who knows that he isnt doing well since young for another 2 hours of torture reinforcing the fact that he isnt good in academic stuff? (bearing in mind that IQ test cant test his cooking skills, which is what he is good at…).

stuff

it is fast approaching the end of the semester. Ok, so in theory it is the end of the semester. For those lucky ppl out there where hols (n exams) are fast approaching… good luck.. =)

In respond to v’s blog..which she blogged a few days ago (or is it few weeks?)….this is my turn in giving u my thoughts abt clients and the red tape…

1) Crying
I am actually quite fine with clients crying in front of me. In fact, i am glad they cry coz that meanst they r in touch with their emotions. It is better than hving someone who is emotional disconnected in front of me. Crying, i can handle. It is a healthy way to express their feelings anyway.

What do i do? Similar to what v said. I listen. And wait. Sometimes that is all u hv to do.. they want someone to listen..and crying will just make them feel better. I do try to look at the underlying msg and address it..rather than ask head on “what r the tears abt?” (roll eyes.. if u hv guessed, yes someone said it).

Wont i get affected? Of course. There are many times where i can feel some tears swelling in my eyes…when i hate to say.. i agree with how bad their situation is at the moment. But when u r just focused on the person infront of you.. the tears just dont flow down. Yes, u feel it…. but your focus is not on yourself. That makes it slightly easier i supposed.

2) Dr. Phil and other self-help books
For some reason, clients love them. pop psychology books… until… they come in to the therapy sessions, raving about how they do relaxation exercises.. but ended up doing chest breathing instead. I guess there are good and bad books….. but it is amazing how alot of people just diagnose themself by reading them.

3)…
I guess… i was shocked and surprised when i know my client being thrown to psychiatrist to psychiatrist… changing medication like it is the only solution..and ignoring other possible things we can do… It is really sad that we are actually feeding our next generation with pills instead of doing the good old long-winded way of solving problems.. when the good old winded way of solving problems.. can actually be a better long-term solution!

quick blog

hey gracie! i miss u too. we hv to stay in contact ya. Remember those star gazing nights…
____________________________________________________________________

A day of emotions running high and deep. Steve is a brillant pastor as usual.. his sermons never fail to amaze me..speaking to me oh so dearly. In a nutshell, he spoke about how the future is so beautiful. So much so that we cannot comprehend it. U want the sermon notes, ask me since i got it all written down in my notebook. 1 Corin 2:9 jus that one verse that touched my heart.

Quote of the day:

“The most unhappy people in the world got what they want but what they want fall short of their expectations”

Verse of the day:
“No eye has heard, no ear has concieved, what God has prepared for those who love him”

There was never a time where God hasnt known exactly what he has in store for us.

pressured

learnt a valuable lesson today. Dont assume that you are dealing with one person (even if it is technically jus ‘A’ client). Attended a case management meeting for this client that 9 ppl attended. yes, 9 ppl handling a client. This shows how much dedication the everyone has for this person.

The down side is, i dont quite agree with the diagnosis. Nor did i quite agree with the behavioral plan. So i have a few choices. 1) question the diagnosis until they hv no choice but see your point 2) just say why u dont agree 3) pretend you agree and move on.

I took the first route and before i know it, i had quite a few ppl protesting my line of questioning (and all did was to clarify and questioning in a curious manner). I decided at that pt that i hv pushed enough and since i do want the rapport (coz i hv to work with these ppl), i let it go. Their point was that the client was on medication when i saw the behaviors.

Anyway, my dear supervisor has informed me that in the next case management meeting, i would hv to push my pt forward. By doing the same thing. More questioning. Possibly drawing up with the group on why the program didnt work (yes, we were that convinced).

Yes, i hv done it before with a client. Yes, it worked before. But somehow, the pressure just seems greater. Is it dealing with 8 other ppl that has intimidated me? or is it because how much will a group of professionals would want to ‘brainstorm’ with me when all they want is to report and get out of the rm? How do one get a point across to a group of ppl without sounding like an ‘expert’ or a ‘novice’? How do one do it without offending others and maintaining rapport as u r prob working with them for long term?

It makes me feel uncomfortable. Thinking abt it, it is not a task that i cannot do. I have done it before with a client… and changed her model from a biological one to a more behavioral one in one session. I know it can work. Yet i feel really pressured this time. The weird thing is, supervisor told me that i handled the situation well this morning. It was right not to push it since i have made my pt and it was only the first meeting afterall…

and i am still feeling unsettled. OK, so maybe having the whole solely dealing with the same group of clients isnt a good idea. I am perfectly ok if i hv to attend lecture in the morning, supervision later, or if required, client after supervision (or in btw somewhere).

when will i not feel unsettled? Not feel pressured? Is this uneasy feeling…or maybe is it just tiredness?

Dont get me wrong, i am enjoying this course. Funny enough, i am not behind in my work. So why this uneasy feeling?

low profile

i guess i shld hv learn that frm v last year…. the more you try to keep a low profile, the more your profile gets highlighted.

anyway, to cut a long story short, it seems that a couple of my lecturers are asking me to speak out in class. They claim that since i know my stuff, i shld not keep quiet in class. In fact,they reckon it is a good way for me to practice presenting case formulation. I said that speaking in front of the mirror is good practice too (or infront of laptop) but they think otherwise.

all because i speak out during supervison group and answer those questions that maybe i shldnt hv answered.

of course, the main bulk of the comments come frm CL (maybe he realised alot of ppl dont talk in his class..), claiming that since i answered other ppl’s case presentation well (he directed the questions to me! i wonder if he was trying to stump me?), i might as well participate more in his class.

CR gave up i think..nowadays, she directly asked me for answers in class. 😦 not that i cant answer them… i just dont like speaking out in class unless it is necessary!! Necessary means that i hv a strong pt to make or a question to ask. Not picking catfights or arguing with other coursemates (thus wasting class time).

*chants* low profile low profile low profile

answer to my own question

I posted an interesting ‘personality’ quest yesterday… asking a q if ppl think this is considered as valid.

I guess i should answer my own question (given that velda answered hers in her blog, i thought i shld add something in mine!! just to blog something :p)

Online questionnaires are interesting and fun to do. Sometimes ppl take it seriously, sometimes they dont’. It is usually for a good laugh although i have encountered a few ppl who took the results literally.

My answer is as follows:

Am i a nurturer? and if so, must my job be a ‘child psychologist’ or whatever it was posted there. Bearing in mind that one of my first ambitions was to be a teacher actually…and..u ppl wont believe it..but i wanted to be an interior designer (u shld see those floor plans i had when i was 9 years old, my dad had a good laugh coz i drew my dream interior home which prob costs millons or something).

A few sentences to describe your personality. Can we ever be described using english words? An eskimo uses 200 over words to describe ‘snow’, are we less than snow? I did the NEO-PRI (some other personality test that was tested for both validity and reliability) and basically what they did was to construct my personality into a few sentences (based on the big 5 principles). Can a few sentences describe me? or how i change as circumstances change?

Does it reflect change in me?

Ruth mentioned once in her blog that she can be an introvert and extrovert (depending on where she is). It made me wonder will the scores of my NEO be different if i did it in different countries, surrounded by different ppl. Sure it has validity at that time u did it probably…. but often we use the results to predicit how ppl react in situations.

Can we be fitted in a box? Humans are more complex than that.

speaking of personality tests..some of my classmates who did the MMPI and NEO came out with interesting results..

One had a super HIGH lie scale..even though she swore that she did it as herself
the other girl said her MMPI scored revealed that she got schizophrenia tendancies….

mmm..interesting ppl we hv in the course :p

My personality

an online questionnaire that has validy? what do u ppl think?

Your #1 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups – whether you’re helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #3 Match: INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision – no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #4 Match: ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate – you are good at recognizing people’s unspoken needs.

You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #5 Match: ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller

You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking – you get the job done.
You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings.
Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you.
Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy.

You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

More than words

Yes, i read v’s blog and cant get my fav song out of my head. Every word strucks a cord in me. So here it goes.

More than words
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Surprise, CL actually praised me. yes. after my 2 other supervison mates left his office, he said “daphne, u r doing very well. You are focused.” Two sentences. Little words but I guessed it raised my spirits even though it was CL who was saying it. *roll eyes* That despite I kept questioning him. I thought he finds me irritating.

With my child supervison, it is a big learning curve. CR is harsh..on everyone. From what i know so far, she is alright with my performance except with a few occasions. I guess i like her because she is so straight to the point, never hestitating to tell you if what u hv done is wrong.

No, it is not all rosy. My supervision time has just increase to 7 hrs a week. Supervision is confronting. Everyone watches your mistakes. Everyone listens to the mistakes you make. Supervisor does not mince words. Your self-esteem goes down.

It has been a harsh few weeks. Although it is getting worse (oh yeah…. the coming 2 weeks… ) but this week, there were several positive things that happened. 1) my client had a breakthrough 2) someone actually said i improved. even if a little, it drives you just abit more.

phone

you know u r spending abit too much time in the clinic when u come home… try to open the door..and the key u r using is the clinic key.

a classmate just turned part-time. seems that there r quite a few ppl in class that r interested in switching part-time as well… mmm..

oh..btw.. if i dont wish to speak on the phone too long or at all… that’s probably because i dont really feel like talking…..

reasons being 1) quiet is good. 2) when u listen to ppl talk the whole day, sometimes u jus want to keep to yourself when do work. 3) been on the phone chasing up ppl recently, so phone isnt exactly my best friend. 4) i’m tired.