Unconditional love

Parents have high hopes for their children. From the time when they were infants till adulthood. These hopes never die.

As a clinician-or perhaps to be technically correct, a trainee clinician, I witnessed the pain of parents going through the tough assessment process. Not knowing what exactly is wrong with their child but knowing that something isn’t right.

The pain is even more real, when a similar event is happening in your personal life. When the people you love is going through the same process. You see the pain, the grief, the flicker of hope that it may be something else but knowing that it probably isn’t.

A friend and a clinician. They know you know. The pulling back. The anxiety in their eyes. The denial, the love, the fear….

A nightmare. A nightmare that I wish.. really wish that it will never happen to anyone that I know. A nightmare is happening to a family that I adore and love.

Prayers are much needed for this family.

“I’ll be home for Christmas”

I’m dreaming tonight
Of a place I love
Even more than I usually do.
And although I know
It’s a long road back
I promise you

I’ll be home for Christmas.
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love-light gleams.
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.

Oh oh ah I’ll be home for Christmas.
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree.
Oh Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love-light gleams.
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.

If only yeah
Well now, if only, only, only, only
If only in my dreams.
If only
Well, well, well Lord
If only oh
If only in my dreams.

quiet

As some of you will know, that the past week has been quite a ‘quiet’ week for me. Quiet because I lost my voice to speak. I would utter a few sentences and a coughing spasm will began (and that my voice gets softer and softer). I have no idea where I picked up the virus except that it occurred late last Monday and gradually worsen. After a week, I finally decided to take Mr Ar’s advice and stayed home yesterday. It was bliss man. I slept pretty much through the whole day. You have NO idea.. NO idea how sleep is such a beautiful thing until a lack of it occurs. My mother gently reminded me that sometimes, our bodies do not need medication, just sleep to repair itself.

Hence the lack of postings.

I’m feeling better, my voice is stronger. I no longer feel as if I’m shouting with every word I say. The coughing is still here but almost gone. No more headaches. The only problem is that I STILL FEEL LIKE SLEEPING. My eyes and head are saying “no… you slept too much u lazy pig, get UP and do some work!” but my body is saying “go back to sleep, we need more rest!” To please my head, eyes and body, I have decided to do some work and then head for a nap sometime later. See, everyone wins. Nah, it depends on how I feel. Maybe I don’t need a nap after all!

I did make some chocolate peanut butter fudge yesterday afternoon- between periods of sleep. Before anyone scream and say “SICK, and u r still eating heaty stuff?”, let me clarify… I didnt eat any of it. It’s for Christmas. Will post some pictures later if I feel like it.

Also, daylight savings has started in Perth, WA. So it is now 1 hr ahead of Singapore.

Two weeks and I will be back in SiNGaPoRe! I will be lugging some light work to do when I’m back. I’m looking forward to seeing my family and friends again (more motivation to get well!). To be honest, I can’t believe it has been a year.

And I have just ONE more year to go before reaching the never-ending finishing line. After next year, I would have spent 7 years at Murdoch. SEVEN! Am i crazy or something? Whatever it is, it will be the final sprint. FINAL SPRINT.

I’m all for studying again but preferably not at least 2 years after graduating (again..). I have enough of work without pay. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I’m doing, just that u reach a point when u realized-there is more to life than clinical psychology.

There will be. 🙂