All over the place

I have been reading some old posts on this blog (and on others) and it hit me that it was just barely less than 2 years ago when I was desperately trying to complete a thesis, mend a relationship as well as trying to find my identity.

So my honours thesis was completed (and stupidly enough, I’m trying to complete another one currently), the relationship ended and identity….. I guess that’s half found. I supposed I could identify myself as “Postgraduate Psychology Trainee (clinical)” but that box is too small- I’m also a christian, sister, grandchild, daughter, friend, confidant, partner, student, tutor, niece, auntie and possibly researcher?

Listening to songs like Constant Craving, Hit’em up style, Stop, Crazy, Misty Blue, Yesterday,Can’t take my eyes off you and More than Words. It’s strange how I immediately associated those songs to my hons year (argggghhhhh…..conditioning). The year when I discovered that research wasnt that bad afterall (it was the writing that was bad) , how painful a breakup can be and true friendships. I did not forget my first white sundress, which I still kept in my wardrobe and the lovely 21st dinner I had with my uni mates. Not forgetting my friends and family members who stood by me as I was trying to finish that degree.

I did not forget the guy who asked me out for a date in the same year and patiently waited for me to heal (that ran into the next year) before he asked me to be his girlfriend.

How things changed since then? I completed the first year of the Masters course, worked with some nice people (and not so nice ones) and even decided to take another step to pursue this current degree. In less than 2 years, my vision for the future changed.

Sometimes I feel that pursuing a career as a Clinical Psychologist made the colours of my world black and white (vel, I think u understand this joke here). However, the characters that I talk to everyday made it more colourful.

In the short 4 weeks that I have been in the hospital, I worked with painful, cheerful, confused, dependant, insightful, emotional, emotionless, humourous, beyond intervention and hopeful characters. That include staff and patients.

I experienced people who attended the program, appeared to benefit from it and then was re-admitted to the hospital 1 week later.

A client/patient described me as “quiet empathic”. I discovered the power of being quiet in groups. The moment I opened my mouth everyone listened to me! Woohoo.

Staff at the hospital are nice. The only exception is this egoistic senior. I thought I was the only one feeling frustrated with him until a registrar went “argh” about him one day. Not to mention how another registrar said that she’s dreading partnering him when the 1st registrar goes on leave. Oh, and that my supervisor said not to let him sign my reports as he sucks in writing them. Ethically, I disagree with him as well.

Enough about work.

It’s strange how the direction changed since 2 years ago… Friends went in different directions, responsibilities and relationships are not the same as before. Have I changed since then? I think I did in some ways. Priorities, sleep patterns, career direction, friendships, writing, reading, quietness, confidence, placement, researching, hobbies and relationships are different since then. I dare say I’m less serious than before and I do take things in a lighter way (it’s ok if i dont mop the floor today or finish writing the report). Like what Justin used to say “I’m still Daphne.”

Swan Valley

Yesterday, I enjoyed good company, wine, cheese, coffee, chocolates and food. Words cannot described how enjoyable being outside in the world! It was just 4 hours but it left me feeling recharged.

The simple pleasures of life are easily neglected and sometimes, I found myself forgetting that they even exist. This episode made me realised how little we appreciate our surroundings. Instead, we get caught out by the buzz of the ever busy life.

On the other hand, it’s the buzz that made me appreciate time off even more. Therefore, one should appreciate the buzz too right?

Another week of full time placement and it’s back to uni doing research + teaching.

One week…

I came to realise what a cheapo I am. The following are benefits of being on this placement:
– Free coffee
– Free tea (including fancy ones such as English Breakfast, Peppermint, Green tea, Camomile Tea and Earl Grey).
– Free Milo
– Free biscuits (cream and plain)
– Free fruits
– Free water
– Dish washer to use
– Sandwich grill machine
– Chefs in the hospital prepares sandwiches or main meal on a subsidised rate (you can’t go cheaper than $2.50 for sandwich of your choice or $4.00 for a main meal which consists of meat (salmon/roast/fish and veges) + fruit platter/dessert).
– All the resources (treatment manuals) that I can take.
– Free morning and afternoon tea (Yesterday, I had warm scones for morning tea and crackers and capsicum cream cheese dip for afternoon tea).
– Free exercise (by coming up and down the dozens of staircases that they have in the hospital and office).
-Free breakfast (They provide a toaster, raisin bread/normal bread, peanut butter, margarine, all kinds of jam).

I’m still sceptical of this placement (one size fits all intervention doesnt sit well with me) although I can see how patients/clients benefit from being in this hospital than a public one. The staff are nice (once I got over the “They are UWA graduates” inferior feelings). My supervisor doesnt work full-time, so really, I can leave anytime after 3:30pm and no one will know! ;p I still cant get pass myself to do that though. I was chase out of the office at 4:55pm, which actually, isnt too bad afterall.

Having said all of that, the program is intensive. At the end of the day, I feel exhausted. Perhaps it’s the journey of self-discovery when doing a crash course of the program (and learning how to faciltate it). You cant just study it without thinking how this can be apply in your life. Perhaps being in a group setting changes dynamics and juggling them is exhausting enough-needless to say paying attention to their needs and how the program can assist them.

Did I mention that their photocopier links to the computers and acts as a printer too? I walked into the photocopier room looking for a PRINTER! How dumb did I look? (and to think I count myself as a city girl?!!??!??!).