the never ending ‘rushed’ feeling

roughly 1.5 weeks after our final paper..and i still feel like i’m in a mess.

why?

1) my nice tonsils decided to be good to me..and the swell went down. BUT i’m coughing now..and only God knows how fast i can get over this cough. And yes, i do look worse than monday. hrmph. I feel worse too. *growl*

note: ok..so i’m not that grouchy these days.. jus a little…

2) ROOm is still in a mess. going to pack all my papers NOW. I’m hoping that the stuff frm my thesis can fit into one box… my things r all over the place.. noooo..

3) the masters application thingie..I think murdoch will be sending out the letters today.. I went for curtin’s interview..and yes!! FACe to face interview is so much easier than phone. I’m actually less nervous. They gave me this case study that was 1.5 min long. But after CL’s unit and how we do the clinical report thing.. i ended up with heaps of things to talk abt..including the types of therapies i can use, the presentation of problem, the body language..etc etc. Overall, i didnt stumble or anything ..but as usual i screwed up the ethics question. hrmph.

4) the drama of DL. Dont like to be drawn into this debate. But i stand by my thoughts on the rights of a student and the equity issue that I have with it. Dont tell other students what u dont want others to know. Period. If that’s going to affect my standing for masters application..that’s outright biased and not professional at all.. which i hope will not come true. I wonder who is more disappointed. Him in me or me in him then.

5) macquarie Uni screwed my application. Claimed they cannot process my application without my FINAL results. Which is screwed basically..since my results wont be out till dec 13 and their final processing closes at the end of nov. Weird since i dont see why they cant process my application since Uni of Mel and Monash-both ranked higher than Macquarie processed it. hrmph.

couple of good things happened of course..

1) i got an interview offer frm Uni of mel…..

2) i won a book voucher. But it’s the university bookshop!! that depends if i’m going back to murdoch next year…and either use it on text..or some other books.. :p

3) Always good to know others better.

yes. as u can see i’m trying to be optimistic.

the year aof 2004 can be a year of breakups. So many couples i know…r no longer together. Is this year jinx for r/s or something?

Oh yeah. List of things to do.

1) read Sybil- i’m getting hooked on it. oh.and move on to 2 other books i want to read.

2) Pack my room-getting there

3) bake a cheesecake

4)bake brownies

5) make clam chowder soup

6) Clean the bathroom

7) watch the notebook

8) Shop more

9) pub more

10) do up the flash cards for work

11)send feedback letter to one of the parents who claimed she didnt get it.

12) wait for helens’ reply on whether my work has publishable material.

13) research on short trips.. plan a short trip.

14) try a couple of new restuarants.

15 organise a small cocktail night for the hse…

EVERYONE in the hse finished their exams today.. finally.. good food later. =)

grouchy

jus feeling that way. here n there.

tonsils getting better.

yesterday’s gathering was good. the food was fantastic….i think we enjoyed ourselves. Well..ok..we didnt enjoy the flies.

the game was alright..it kept us occupied for a while…. and to see chee trying to act out ‘spring roll’..Mhwaha.

that could be our last meeting in perth. at least with the whole gang.

hot weather lately. i want winter back.

yes velda.hse of blues next… count me in. when u come back i suppose.

Someone warned me abt over guarding my heart. i dont even know what’s over guarding anymore. but anyway, there r somethings i jus wont admit. that’s true. cant do it. even to myself. maybe that’s my downfall. oh well. tomorrow is another day.

on the bright side, i’m getting better. my hsemates r finishing exams… (ok..1 finished, 2 more to go).

realised that when i’m sick… i’m whine even more. and i feel even worse. emotionally. this suxs. i got to get well soon before falling down the whole ‘self pity’ crap again.

Tonsils

Yes V.. u realised that i was emphasing on EC huh.. :p nah. it wasnt targeted at you… but suddenly notice alot more uses for EC… prob influenced by u through the thesis period..either that, or i read too many times of your introduction.. :p

After more than a year of bliss without my tonsils flaring up..they are swollen again. Felt it this morning. What a time.. it will take about a week to get it down..and i got an interview on wednesday! Ice, cold water, herbal tea…here i come. Is either that or go to the doctor for antibiotics… given my circumstance, i dont want to take antibiotics unless i cant take it anymore. If my tonsils doesnt respond, i hv to go for surgery..and no, i wouldnt like that at all. I need my voice back.. why do i always hv throat problems jus days pior to my interviews? It happened for Monash as well.

And because of that, i got to refrain frm kissing anyone (do i hv someone to kiss in the first place? :p ), coming to close contact with my hsemates-since they r all hving exams and i dont want to infect them. Standing about 1 M away frm them since yesterday..and shutting myself in my rm.

They better not fall sick… if not i will feel so bad. so pls guys TAKE YOUR Vitamin C and whatever drink i throw it to you.. :p (esp the ginseng tea ah..). I’m banned frm all their rooms..and can only go to the kitchen, living rm and my rm.

Going to do a little cooking later.. Thank God i dont hv the cough or the cold..so chances of bacteria transmission is lower. Cant talk much anyway. Shld i still go for the gathering later when i will be jus sitting there..and staying quiet.. shessh. but maybe i shld..jus to get out of the hse.. and lessen the chances of infecting the guys. But that means i might infect chris, jj, chee n josh instead… ok..so that means i jus hv to keep my mouth shut when i go then.. lessen chances of transmission again. Since all of them got good immunity system..and finished exams..except for chee who got to do her ISC… that might be a good idea. ok, this isnt good.. i’m rationalisng who shld i infect.. or likely to infect..

Oh Ya… CASEY won AI. good for her. I dont want anthony to win. Except for “The Prayer” the rest of the songs he sang r so… boy bandish.. Casey’s voice is better, it makes ppl feel..and most of all, she doesnt scream. Dont mind getting her album/songs if she sing songs like ‘misty blue’ or ‘here’s where i stand’.. :p

past few days

Went for the psych grad party on friday… woohoo.

Had such a good chat with my supervisor, Helen. She rocks..really. Esp when she is so undiplomatic at times. And oh, when she is assertive in some of the conversations..esp with DL and CL. :p

did i mention this supervisor of mine plays the cello as well?

CL kept talking to me on friday, i wonder is it becoz he knows i m thinking of lodging a formal complain against him? then again, instead of lodging a formal complain, i might jus go talk to Ian walker..and that’s it. Afterall PD did say that it wont do me any good to lodge a formal complain..and if i still want my chance to go back to murdoch…

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After the party, we head down to the city for dinner and hotgrass jelly.. yummy. I’m glad i got JJ and Velda to like it.. heehehe..

We headed to the Grapeskin for a drink.. but it was so crowded. We moved to Mustang..where we got DILUTED drinks. hrmph. my black russian taste more like coke..cant taste the volka…and the screwdriver that i had after that… is like drinking orange juice. I was told that they do that on weekends.

The music was ok..the dance floor was good. AND THEN someone spilled BEER on me!!! hrmph.

Dancing with velda and christine.. WOOHOO..those 2 r real sexy. Well, ok. so velda n i kept dancing with each other…and i think it got really hot sometimes…kinky huh? oh well… we had lots of fun…..

came home stinking…

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Oh yeah… work on saturday morning…i found out why sean was screaming that much. Apparently the school jus gave in to him when he throws a tantrum. Which means he gets want he wants everytime he screamed at school! Too bad for him, since everytime he screamed, i made him do one more page of work…..

I was really happy..when Karl, Charlie’s father said Charlie enjoys coming for his lessons, and is actually looking forward to his sessions. The sense of satisfication when a child enjoys learning is priceless. Charlie was sweet, half way through the session..jus after his break, he came towards me and gave me this huge hug. *smiles* These r things that make u feel…..everything is all worthwhile. Worthwhile to see a kid smile, a kid learn… Even greater, when u see these kids giving affection… knowing that it isnt easy at all for them to do that. Things that we take for granted with normal children.

Even with Brandon, JJ said “Hi brandon”..Brandon replied “Hi”..JJ went on to say “How are you?” brandon actually replied “I’m good thank you” with EYE CONTACT! Brandon was looking at JJ… is like..wow, he progressed so much that he actually listened and tried a mini conversation!!!!! How amazing is that? Doris (his mum) n i immediately patted his head and told him that was EXCELLENT talking.. hahaha.. These are things we dont do with a normal child, as it is expected that they know how to do that..but for Brandon? that’s a BIG step.

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Amazing as well.. how for a friend, apparently working with children makes her realised that…she doesnt want any in the future. I think my current job made me realise how much i enjoy and want to work with them.. even more.

gym

went shopping on tuesday.. woohoo.. got 2 tops and a skirt.. oh. not forgetting 2 books as well.. cant wait for haz to join us for another shopping trip.. 🙂 more clothes.. yeah.that reminds me, i need to clear my wardrobe out. :p

went to gym today.. did 3 kms.. shld hv done more.. but got too tired…after 1 mth of not running, or doing step…. i cant believe how fast my stamina went downhill.. even for weights, i did lighter weights than usual. got to work my way up again.. thinking of going back to step classes, but they r getting so boring….

tomorrow is the psych party..and pubbing… mmmmmmmm.. well, 4 years..and that’s it.end of psych degree now. Everyone is going off different directions… chee going back to spore, jimmy getting married/postgrad???? meien-maybe postgrad? christine..job.going back to spore, jj-post grad. velda-postgrad/singapore/uk/states. myself-postgrad/spore. that’s life, everyone moves….

screwed exam

Yes. We finished our last exam as an undergraduate.. woohoo.. (yeah right)

U see, we were supposed to have 230 MCQ questions.. but it was reduced to 160 after the lecturer realised we only hv 2 hrs to complete the questions.

But this morning, our paper consisted of 170 questions..which isnt that bad..if they provide us with the appropriate computer answer sheet…. YUP..there were only spaces for 150 answers.

Which means, the unit coordinator asked us to cancel the last 20 questions-now, in normal circumstances, we shld be happy..but not when we soon discover that the paper is a skewed one..and some of the questions in the last 20, were actually frm lectures that the lecturer said it was tested… and the front questions were.. well..jus plain ambigious.. bad phrasing, multiple answers for questions….etc etc. So v n i were actually able to answer the last 20 questions without much problems.. but had problems with the some of the earlier questions.

Anyway, v n i went to see the lecturer..who actually agreed with us..and told us it was the examiner board that screwed the exam papers up..giving us the wrong version of it.

What a way to end our undergrad..since we will be lodging a formal complain. *sigh* cant they jus let us graduate in peace….

drama

well.. ONE more day to go..and that’s it. END of undergrad life.

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ppl who love me..who know me..will know who i am. Nothing else to explain. Others who think that they know me, but go around telling skewed explanations.. well, too bad for them.

my conscience is clear. Crystal clear. being accused of something that i hv not done..mm.. that’s life.. but then again, ppl who know me will truely see through it.

that’s the real world. like it or not. we hv to accept it. We got to respect people’s perspectives..and in the midst of it, interpretations might go off tangent.

i’m not perfect. but that doesnt mean i dont appreciate friendships, relationships.. that is why i chose psychology in the first place. Using ppl jus for own gains… i can safely say, i try my best not to do that..and i dont do that. but it is up to you, to decide if i am or not.

To the ppl who stood up for me….who sees me for who i am.. who loves me. Thank you.. for all it’s worth.. i do appreciate all the friendships. i truely do. *BIG HUGs*

2 more days

the first kid i had this morning.. screamed everytime we did one page of work.. YUP.. so the testing began. unfortunately for him… like it or not, he got to do his work ON MY TERMS. So even though he screamed the most.. he did writing, sounds, reading, picture descriptions, Yes/NO questions and even the one he had the most problems with “I” and “You” concepts. My ears r still ringing though…. =) Well, at least he learned something…. the mother is such a sweet sweet woman who is so understanding.. and u can tell the performance difference when parents really want to make it work..and those that dont bother….

Charlie was so sweet…. the moment he sees me.. he didnt bother to greet me.. he pulled me towards the room.. mm.. well, it is always nice to see a kid actually looking forward to his lessons. THen again, it is probably becoz we set up a play corner for him in the room..and he absoutely loves the freedom with it…after he did good work of coz.. which he did.

I got Julian today… first time i had him in the 1.5 years i’m with FOCUS. Like what silvana said.. he progressed alot since the last time i saw him in action. Easily distracted, but i had no compliance issues with him…so touchy with me as well.. kept holding my hand, smiling… but i almost got scratched. shessh.

Christine got Josh… Brandon was sick.. hai. i miss brandon..

Going to miss these kids…

Their growth..their learning curve… things that we take for granted. Their smiles..and really, u feel the pride when they actually recognise you… and greet you using your name. Or even with some eye contact.

Boys out. Home alone!

music, dancing…

watched center stage.

dancing. that reminded me of the good times we had.. haz, jacq, jia, wanyi..etc etc.. dancing in nacli camp. woohoo. sick throughout the day when attending the lectures n stuff.. but how we enjoyed the rehearsals at night. oh well. memories.

anyway, i’m stuck at reading addiction.. i think i might hv nightmares tonight man..

work tomorrow morning..change in timetable again.. 3 weeks in the term..and everyweek..there is a change!

monash didnt reply me.. mm..

cant wait for next friday…

ok fine. got to get pass monday first.. still…

oh. i spoke to Rev Goh and Zinnia yesterday.. they r holidaying in queensland… hehe. it was fantastic hearing their voices.. esp when Rev Goh was so surprise to hear frm me..and kept on repeating my name.. “is that Daphne..Daphne su..” hahaha.. Zinnia was fun as usual. She asked me to get back to spore asap.. so i can sing in the christmas cantata.. and said she will ‘throw’ me the scores..and give me a crash course in the performance.. doubt i will make it in time though. oh well, as long as i can see them perform. the last time i performed for christmas was in 2000 when i had to play the flute.. ah. i miss my flute….want my flute. oh well. i sux in it… but the feel of it is jus so good…

food..

ah. Friday.

Menu for lunch today:

Chilli Beef Pies

Roasted Pecans, feta cheese, Avocado and Baby spinach leaves Salad..

I really like the salad.. mm.. wonder if i shld do this for the bbq?

Recipe

Baby Spinach leaves

Pecans -125g

Feta cheese- 150 grams

Avocado 1

2 Table spoons lemon juice

Roast pecans in the oven..or jus heat it up on the stove with a tablespoon of olive oil.

Crumbled feta cheese. Chopped avocado in bite pieces. sprinkle lemon juice on avocado.

Mix everything together..oh. u might want to drizzle a little olive oil onto the salad before serving..and u get a fantastic salad.. SIMPLE.

yeah. me and my moods. Oh ya. i’m suppose to be reading dissociative disorders.. maybe that is rubbing on me..

Sunny day.

cant wait for monday… cant wait for friday.. (YAY girls..we go SO going out..psych party..pubbing..WOOHOO..).. and then.. monday again.. our BBQ… yay..