had a great day out with mother. We went to expo and then headed to town. Considering that is my mother i am out with, it was to our surprise when we realised that it was already 4:30 pm when mother was looking at a bed sheet set in Tangs.
Anyway, G2000 hving a sale. Stock up on trousers and shirts. The feeling of hving grabbed a bargain feels so good… Yes. i am a cheapo at heart. What can i say?
Finished reading ‘Angels and Demons”. It got quite draggy towards the centre of the book. Cant Dan Brown get straight to his point? hrmph.
Oh. and of course, mother told me that she got “digital fortress”. In fact, it appeared that she bought “Da vinci code”, “angels n demons, and “digital fortress”. It reminded me of how we used to buy the same pair of shoes but in 2 different sizes. I guess we are mother and daughter afterall.
Circumstances changed within the past 2 days. Being in singapore made me more nostalgic. Afterall, happier times were spent here. It doesnt help when i met up with him..and the strange pain can once again be felt. The words “I will fight for you” doesnt help as well.
He said the future will be different but even a simple regression exercise will show that the past predicts the future to a certain degree. And even if an outlier occur, it could be by chance. How much faith am i suppose to have. The conversation we had feels as if it was the past again. When he will make all those sweet promises and i naively believe… It makes me wonder if that is called faith?
1) I hv to remind myself the reasons why it happened
2) I hv to learn to accept the pain. And that pain will probably be part of my life frm now till the future.
3) DO i really want to face this for the rest of my life?
4) What makes this time any different frm the rest? We took a mth break earlier this year. Surely that is a big enough sign as well?
5) It confuses me when he said “it is because i dont want to lose you” when he already did. So if he doesnt want to lose me, so why didnt he worked with me for the past few years to save the situation?
Yet that doesnt quite explain the pain i feel. Perhaps logic and pain dont go together. Then again, i aknowledge that it is normal. And eventually, it will just be part of me. The light is shinning throught the dark tunnel.
The cd was lovely. I cant stop listening to it. Every song touched my heart.
Choices. Got to make them. Hv to make them. Rushing into anything will not do any good. I learned frm my past mistake- just ask someone asked me to learn from other ppl’s mistakes. Slow and steady.
going to do more mindless reading.