woof

I was walking home yesterday when I passed by this group of secondary school students. My first thought when i saw them was “They look so young.” There was an air of naivety, innocence and even time. It was as if they were telling us that there is all the time in the world for them to make mistakes, learn and grow old.

It’s strange. When you are at that age, you dont think you are young (just like i dont think i’m old now :p). A ex-classmate said he felt that guys didnt change as much as girls since primary school. According to him, guys are still as playful as ever. Girls however, seem to take on more responsibilities. I disagree. No matter how playful they are, they seemed to have more plans for the future. Oh, did I mention what gentlemen they are? I didnt have to carry my shopping bags at all! Guy A offered to carry one bag, than Guy B felt bad so carried another…then Guy C turned up and then took over that bag from Guy B. I should have done more shopping that day! Look, they would have LAUGHED at me when we were in sec 3, instead of offering to carrying them! At least they changed that :p.

It was a good night. We didnt want to stop chatting.

Anyway, back to the topic of being a teenager. I missed listening to 98.7FM till 2AM at night while trying to complete my never-ending homework. Those were the days when I enjoyed practicing my flute and googling Prince William’s picture (oh goodness, he was so good looking then). My worries were getting the Prefects’ duty plan out on Monday mornings, collecting $ for the band, practicing the piano and flute, not failing mandarin and completing A-maths homework (i cant seem to complete them!).

Like I said, you didnt think u were that innocent when you were of that age.

Some things didnt change though. I have been blessed with understanding and loving friends. Ever after 6 long years, my ex- classmates are still in contact and we chatted as if I have never left the country. My best friend/s still welcome me back to Singapore each year without fail. My grandma still thinks i’m 8 years old.

Regardless, we have to admit that we are older. Happy Lunar New Year everyone!

Check out what Peggy did to my nails.

The friendship ring that Ruth, Peggy and I bought 2-3 years ago still looks ok isnt it? =)

Malaysia Trip

I’m back!

I was greeted by a tail wag from Dino and barks from Zorro upon reaching Mr AR’s house in Malaysia. Dino is such a calming dog. According to Mr AR’s mum- he waits at the gate when we went out. How sweet. Zorro on the other hand… is scared of AR!!!!!!!

I’m not sure how i fared but I got along ok with Ar’s parents (i think). His mum gave me a pair of shoes, biscuits to bring back to Singapore n Aus, a bag and some prawn paste. Uncertain if that is a good sign but i’m leaning towards it now.

I felt included in the family, both parents were tactful and appeared genuinely interested in what i am doing and who I am as a person. Perhaps they were more worried about what kind of influence i will have on their oldest son!

Did i mention that SHOES shopping was great? I bought 3 pairs!

I’m such a glutton over there. All the food looks so good….. the nonya and Malay food especially. Look at the chicken rice balls in Malacca!

Chicken rice in Malacca.

Nonya Food in Malacca.
Kangkong, Sambal Sotong and Ayam Buntang (i think).

I cant remember what’s the name…. AR-HELP

Kino in KLCC. There is quite a good selection of clinical psych books there. Didnt buy any though! Was thinking of the luggage weight limit to Australia.

Yes.. i’m bo liao, taking picture outside Kino. Hey, i like that bookshop ok?

did i mention that i really like A&Ws onion rings? Ah..those were the good childhood days when onion rings were available in Singapore.

Men and Power

Every now and then, I have this attack of going “wooahhh” towards a character that oozes leadership. Usually, it’s a man who is in this position. :p

What is it about a man with power that makes him so attractive? One of the first guy that caught my attention was Prince William. I was 11. Just something about the way he walked and the way he looked into the camera showed confidence. I think that is alluring.

I felt the same way towards numerous male Vice-head and Head prefects when I meet them during my term as a VHP in KCPSS. With the exception of ONE guy (that i fancied for a long period of time), they weren’t crushes. It was more like an attraction.

Perhaps it is the confidence or just the way a guy looks when he is in control. Perhaps there is a sense of security, comfort and excitement.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for men with power. :p

Disclaimer: No politicians are involved.

Triumph in the Skies

My dad came home to a scene where his mother-in-law, daughter and wife sat together watching TV. Three generations, hooked on to the same show. Triumph in the Skies is on cable TVB, cantonese. Since it was produced in year 2003, i reckon they were trying to get people to have faith with the newly built HK airport.

The story line is simple: trainees aiming to be pilots. Since love sells, no serial drama will go without throwing in some trangle-sort of problems + unrequited love. Being the hopeless romantic, I found myself drawn to it. *kicking myself hard*.

It had been so long since the 3 of us (namely myself, mum and grandma) got hooked onto the same show. In the afternoon, grandma and i will watch the repeat and have a discussion of it whereas I talk to mum abt it in the evening when she gets home. Since i read all about the story online, I had to give both mum and grandma the run down of what will happen in future episodes. Now they are all excited abt it…

I feel closer to grandma and mum during this trip back to Singapore. Grandma likes to talk to me about her childhood and working days, wheras mum talks to me abt work related stuff. Mum NEVER used to talk to me about work. She even asked if she is using the right counselling techniques with her younger staff (as if i can help much..).

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Side tracked- Do u remember Cherie Ann? The girl grandma used to look after? The one and only girl who calls me “jie jie” and made me sing “I’m a little teapot” countless times?

She is 12 years old now.

She still hugs the teddy that I gave her.

She is coming to visit us this CNY. 🙂

Reading

It has been a strange start to the new year. For one, my mood appeared to be swinging high and low. I’m uncertain if it is the demanding year 2005, or the unrealistic expectations that I get rest during this holiday. I’m lucky, at least i get some little spots of quietness in the house occasionally, but not having a place to call my own in this house is getting into me.

For a few days, I was obsessed with my hair. It’s a bad hair cut, but really, not a big deal. It is better to have a bad haircut when you are 22 instead of 39. At least I know I’m REALLY not suited towards having a shorter hairstyle.

The hairstyle thing was getting into me so much that I felt really low. It’s very unlike of me. All my low esteem problems started flooding me again. I’m much better now, but that shook me up. I seemed to be irritated at everything and everyone. Finally, I managed to sit down this afternoon and finish the book “A Secret History”, I think that sort of quieten me down.

It is a feeling of being unheard. It’s like being there but not there at all. It’s the feeling of being torn, wanting to escape. A little restless even maybe. Sometimes I aknowledge that it is my fault to fill my diary in as much as possible-as if I do not know how to slow down. I remembered my classmate (who finished her PhD and the Masters program this year and is in her late 50s, early 60s) told me that she felt so hypocritical telling clients to have a balance lifestyle and practice stress management techniques when really, she didnt do it herself. As such, she felt lost upon finishing the Masters program.

I appreciate the silence alot more. It’s a gem. I’m reading again, particulary fiction books. It fills me, assists me to be silent and escape from the noisy world. When I read, it is just me and the characters in the book. When I read, there is a certain stillness and calmness that emerge. In the physiological sense, my heart rate went down (yup, i took it after i read) and nothing seem to exists but the book and I.

It’s a form of escape perhaps. It is also my timeout from the world. Between praying and reading, it almost feel like everyone wants to capture something from you. To be able to continue giving this year, I have to restore some part of myself.

Family dinner

Happy new year!

I attended New year’s day + early celebration of gran’s birthday dinner yesterday.

It’s sad that my cousin do not know how to speak cantonese and has no intention to do so. He looks towards his mother and asked “what’s she saying?” whenever gran asked him a question. Gran eventually gave up and stopped asking him anything. My cousin did not appear interested in talking to her-and it saddens me to see gran patiently sitting there looking at her grandson but not knowing how to communicate with him.

My uncle remained the same-loud.

Uncle Ronnie brought red wine. The uncles then proceeded to fill my glass up throughout the night. I think I must hv drank 5-6 glasses. Later in the lounge, uncle asked if i wanted any cocktails “no thankyou, just tea with a slice of lemon please”. What’s wrong with my family? It has just been one year and they seem to be drinking like nothing…

Again, grandma looked at my cousin..not knowing how to communicate with him. She sat opposite him. She was clearly tired, yet she decided to stay back to be with her son and grandson one more time. A once a year event, how could she missed it? She didnt bring her medication to the club, and decided to skip it for the night. She looked at them, wondering when will be the next time she will see them again?

When uncle Ronnie (aunt jasmine’s husband) drove us home, gran started talking about uncle and aunt jasmine’s childhood stories. Ah, how uncle used to be so naughty. How aunt jasmine was such an easy baby to look after.

During dinner, I looked around the table. I remembered what Gran said about the hard times. Now, my uncle is a managing director. My aunt married a successful business man who is an active grassroot leader. My mum is a nursing officer-and a pretty successful one too. Then I think about how my uncle giving her a misery sum of $ each month. How they even ‘forgot’ to give something to grandma for her birthday.

It broke my heart when my cousin didnt even give gran a hug.

It broke my heart when gran looked back 2 more times when him and his family walked away.