Some things never change

1) The hot humid weather in Singapore.

2) Grandma’s love for shoes (including high heels and nice strappy ones). She likes the open toed ones with HIGH (and i mean HIGH) heels. She scoffed at me when i said i cant balance in them…… Now that vintage is back, she kept pointing shoes from mags to me. No…i cant wear them.. NO, i’m too clumsy…. She LAUGHED at me. My grandma, laughing at me………….

3) Grandma’s love for feeding me (this morning, it was cheese and bread! Finally.. hehehe, something healthier).

4) Dad’s love for wine.

5) Dong zhi family dinner. The feast plus we the conversations.

6) Chinese dramas- The 9pm one is quite funny! Now, to improve on reading chinese words.

7) Grandma’s cooking- still as delicious as ever. Nothing beats home cooked food. I want my Black vinegar chicken!

8) The study room is saturated with mum’s stuff.

9) Mum took over the wardrobe that grandma and i shared…. My poor dad no longer has a wardrobe. He hangs his clothes behind the bedroom door.

10) Skinny and TINY girls in Singapore. How in the world can they be so skinny? I feel so clumsy man. BIG and CLUMSY.

11) The wannabe ah-lians from my sch last time (i say it in a nice way, because they r really nice and friendly girls). I saw them in Suntec the other day with their high heels, thick make up and tiny clothes…..

12) Pretty girls from my sec school just became prettier. I met Meishan, one of the sweetest girls in my class. She looks even sweeter now! =)

13) My mother likes action packed movies. She wants to watch KING KONG!?!?!?

14) My computer at home died.

15) Grandma refused to let me help her mop the floor. Ok ok, her territory, the kitchen and the floor. Most current addition, THE REMOTE CONTROL for cable tv…… (ok, this is something that changed).

Singapore

I’m back in Singapore.

I saw baby Issac, together with Irene and Kitson yesterday. What a beautiful day it was! Just quality time spent with grandma and the new family.

Btw, I FORGOT to bring my camera cable (to upload photos) and my swimming costume!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, it’s great to be with grandma again. The only problem being she made me eat BACON with bread. =( noooooo… Walking up the staircase seems to be my exercise for the day.

Spoke to my mum for 5 minutes last night. At least i managed to catch her for 5 minutes.

It’s great to be here. I’m so excited about meeting with the girls again… going over to Irene’s place more often… appointments with grandma. Grandma is my priority- she comes first!

Letters

I was clearing out some stuffs, when I found 3 boxes of letters and cards. They were filled with thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories. I didnt go through all of them (if i did, i might be still sitting on the carpet, reading) but I saw some really really heart warming ones.

If you are wondering if i still hv your card/letter/picture that you sent, chances are, YES. I didnt throw any away.

Btw vel, do you remember your first birthday in Perth? That big apple strudel? Yup.. i found the pics!! Even the nice card that you gave, encouraging me to hang on despite the horrible semester that we had…

I even saw Kian Ann and Aibee’s wedding leaflet.

What about the Keroppi letter envelope from Peggy? Oh man, it reminded me of the days when i went on a hunt to find nice envelops and letter heads to write on. Now, I use white or recycle paper (if i still write).

Ting- JC letterhead!! I still have them! :p Those were the days you wrote in your lectures!

Ruth- those nice gel pens writing? Ah…. I kept every single letter that you sent me. Including the ones you wrote before I left. I treasured them.. Yes, even the one that i read and cried on the plane. The air stewardness was like “?!?!?!”

Jac, Jia and Wanyi- Those nice cards man.. *sobsob* i found pictures of us with the flutes.

Some interesting birthday cards..including TWO from Jackson and Armand. The first card says “happy 1st birthday”, the second card was “Happy 9th birthday”. That was for my 19th birthday of course. Trying to be funny huh?

Or the one from my parents.. which in the front said “you are intelligent, lovely,..etc etc.. ” and then ended with “Of course, you got the genes from us” Interesting thing was, 2 years later, Mum sent me the SAME CARD……………..

Do you remember the bag I wrote about for my birthday. I found another bunch of bags in a container from mum too.. oops…

Also, i saw some really horrible pictures of myself-worthy for entering “The Biggest Loser” show. *SHUDDER* Please, NEVER let me return to that again.

Anyway, back to my cleaning and clearing. Honestly, if I die the most valuable assets I have are books and papers.

Pros n Cons

Just slightly more than a week more and I will be back in Singapore.

Pros of returning
1) Finally a chance to catch up with my family and friends.
2) FOOD- ban mian, chicken rice, grandma’s cooking, dumpling noodles, old chang kee’s curry puffs, prawn noodles, yong tou fu…. HERE I COME.
3) Shopping- need i say more?
4) Cheap gym. This is to balance up number 2.
5) Transportation.
6) Living Praise
7) I dont have to shout into the phone anymore (dad cant hear well)… oh crap, i dont want to shout AT him… cant decide if this should be in the pros or cons section.
7) My cute little cousin Issac…..

Cons of returning
1) The girls r so tiny, I’m not sure if clothes fit me. Also, i dont want the gosspy aunties to start commenting on anything…
2) Humid weather
3) I dont have my own room= no place to put my books or things. I will also be accused of placing my books ‘everywhere’
4) I cant do baking or cooking (In Singapore, the kitchen is out of bounds for me).

Will update if i think of more..

I learned…

1) That I can be assertive. To get things done in record time, one have to SAY or DO something to make it work. Also, being assertive does not mean I am hurting somebody’s feelings. I guess being time pressured means it pays to be firm. Being ‘nice’ doesnt mean I dont get things done. That was probably one of my biggest personal hurdle. Perhaps my patience levels dropped off(towards some people) after completing first year of postgrad……….

2) I do have the ability to put my work together. Those who know me since i was in primary school will know i am NO academic. I almost failed maths, chinese wasnt really my forte, science doesnt make sense to me and i suxed in physical education. The only subject I fell in love with was english literature. Sometimes, I looked back and wonder how did I get here today? By the grace of God, supportive parents, condusive environment, loving friends and to give myself a little credit, I worked hard for it. God put me here for a reason.. He gave me this chance and I want to use it fully. He knows I do not have the highest self-esteem but He placed me with friends who reminded me that I should give myself a chance. I’m not smart but I feel blessed.

3) That I do not always practice what I preached. I found out during my ‘sick days’ and 2 days ago that I do not function well without a busy schedule. Believe it or not, now that my timetable is less packed, I am trying to find activities to fill my day (to make it stressful). I really do have obessive compulsive tendancies! Well, ok, so i try to schedule in things that i might enjoy doing.. such as running by the river….. Anyway, Ben is here and I would like to bring him around Perth.. so he distracted me :p

I do have pleasurable activities to do.. but because they have been always at the bottom of my priority list, it feels weird doing them. Some of them include: completing my cross stitch that i bought 2 years ago, re-learn knitting again, bake more, new recipes, READ!!!!!

4) That I can settle down. Friends know that I questioned my ability to marry, have children or to find the ‘right guy’ in the past. I used task friends, “How do you know that he is THE ONE?” There was one point when I questioned the ability for me to feel “that way” towards another person again. I felt cheated, hurt, angry, upset…among the other 25 emotion words listed in my ‘nine irrational thoughts’ document with me now (i used that for my clients sometimes).

I do feel more settled now, perhaps more focused and ‘grown up’ (to quote v after last night’s conversation). After making a series of errors, I think i recognise what I need and want. What I want may not always be good for me, but what I need is necessary. Also, what God wants for me is more important than anything else.

My priorites changed this year but my heart didnt.

5) To keep challenging myself. After almost completing Year 1, i feel drain but at the same time, excited about what the new year entails. Next year will be external placements. I’m going to be working alongside with even more professionals!

6) That sometimes, I should recieve. Giving is a joy, but recieving can be joyous too. I listen to others but there are times I felt guilty for pouring out to a friend. Ruth reminded me that friendship is about giving and taking. Mr AR reminded me that relationships r about recieving and giving.

7) I can have put work down and have fun sometimes. When i say no work, i mean it. If not, I can say I did try hard!! When i say i want to spend time with you (i.e. God, friend, partner, family), my mind will be focused on you. One thing about learning the mindfulness technique is that i actually grasp the concept of being ‘in the moment’.

8) My english truely suxs.

9) Without my love ones supporting me, I would have fallen into heaps.

10) To be thick skinned- in asking questions.

academics…….

The postgrad coodinator’s response:

“You did a very good job on your presentation on Friday and the project certainly has merit. Your supervisor, will fill you in, but your transfer to the DPsych has been approved subject to the modifications that PD will supervise.”


PD’s response:
“I have no idea what she means about modifications – but no doubt I’ll come up with some once we get started “

And finally….

Post grad coordinator’s response (after a few more emails..): Your application to transfer has been signed off by the dean and will be processed by the Graduate Centre, so official confirmation of your enrolment will come via their office.

Isnt there anyone who is DIRECT anymore?

Anyway, now to harress the international office.


childhood memories II

21) First conscious moment when a guy held my hand. No, it’s not P1 sort of, line up outside your class. No, it’s not romantic, more like we ‘hated’ each other… I was 11 and in the choir. Guy grabbed my hand so hard that it remained in my memory. He was my arguing enemy. Now, he is a scholar.

22) Walking from the flat my parents stayed to grandma’s place for the week.

23) Plain rice with just a fried egg and a salted dace fish. We were poor.

24) According to my uncle, i threw a ball in his bowl of soup from my cot when i was 2 years old. I cant say i remember that but i would love to have seen his reaction….

25) The day my piano arrived.

26) Recieving PSLE results. I passed maths!

27) My first crush that lasted 3 years. Strange, 27 is his favourite number.

28) Chinese New Year. I get to see Irene, Moses, Ivy…

29) Bookshops and bookfairs. I cant get enough of them.

30) Getting scolded by my chinese teacher in P5. I failed ‘ting xie’ too many times….