the day

yes ppl. i’m 21.

of coz, as a friend pointed out.. i hv been 21 ages ago anyway. wahahahah..

the day started with ruthie giving me a phone call jus after midnight…of coz singing as i pick up the phone. d who called 1.5 hrs later…. both of u made me smile when i wake up in the morning.. chessy. but er.true

went to work.. kids were good… Biff- a dad commented that i look better..more relieved.. oops. didnt know i was looking so tense. all the sessions went well.

came back home..and then..we were off to the strawberry farm. ah. 🙂 after picking strawberries.. of coz.. i proceed to go on a date with 3 guys. wahaha. *roll eyes*

dinner was at Havest- small place in fremantle. Good ambience, good company. good food.what else can a gal ask for? lots of fun n laughter.. 🙂

back at home.. we had cake.. (yes! they remembered this yeaR!!!!) and oh man. the boys gave me heaps of presents.. all abt… cocktails. haha. corktail shaker, manhatten glasses,..and even a chiller.. they thought abt everything. and of coz…alan must present me with somthing of a duck nature.. *roll eyes*

overall. memorable. small. but the way i like it.

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just noticed velda’s comment..

yup. mei en n chee wasnt in the picture when i wrote that blog.. hehehee.. but yeah. thnxs to velda, jj, christine, mei en n jj!! (wahaha..realised that adam is the only one who will be handling something to me tonight..)

the dress. I like it. the only thing i dont feel entirely comfortable with is the color.. but hey.. it’s my 21st, time to try something new.

armand’s response. i cant really remember much..just that he was stunned for a few moments? cant tell if it is good or bad..although of coz, mand did say that he liked the dress better than my green one…

well velda.. u managed to get THREE of my hsemates actually giving thumbs up to the dress u chose.. it isnt a easy task… esp for all of them to give positive comments.. most of the time..i cant even get a comment out frm them…..

i meant to say armand’s response in the last post.

anyway. got the dress.got the shoes. still uncertain.. ok. yes. i better be certain by sunday night ah?

work in the morning.

writing report now.

dress

impossible. velda got me a little excited abt sunday.. not becoz it’s my birthday but becoz she..together with chris and jj got me a dress!?!?!

knee length.. halter neck.. t jackson actually LIKING the dress and say it is NICE.. wow.. hahaha.. now, to see armand’s white! WHITE?!?! i have never wore white before…. in a dress anyway. ok. now. i need to find shoes!!!?!! argh. and i thought it is jus a simple dinner…. Lol. no vel. i like the dress.. really… and to geresponse.. .. wahahhaa..

apparently.. it’s very chanel like type.. wooo.. my kind ya? but i will still prefer the dress to be in black. :p jus me.. i know.. ok.fine. ok ok. i can actaully feel’s velda’s ‘u need to show it off’

n the ‘white makes u stand out’ vibe….

thnxs ppl.

sleep

Fell asleep watching SVU…. got weird dreams again. Those.. limbo sort of dreams. i can feel the rushness.. feel the familiarity of ppl around me. ..but i looked lost. .oh. i dreamt that i was sick.. and when i woke up.. i realise.. crap. that isnt a dream.. that part was real. = (

got to concentrate to do the report. but feeling so sian… procrasting again. well. got to do it asap anyway.

rm is looking slightly more like a rm now.

submitted my monash form.. oh man. they r so.. weird. one side of the form said ‘2 referees’ the other say.’ 3 referees to get an interview’… i was like.. WHAT? be clearer.. . disorganisation. hai.

all my applications r in.. now.. i jus got to PRAY hard that the referees forms will be in too.. murdoch shld me ok.. but not too sure abt the interstate ones. if not.. well, i hope i can bagged a few interviews at least.. argh. now, the problem being.. i hv no idea what the interviews will be.. what will they ask.. but unless i got selected for the Monash one (nov 12-15).. the rest r in dec. see how that goes.

velda commented that my driving was better yesterday.. parking was almost perfect too. ok..in other words.. if i need good driving. all i hv to do is to jus sleep one hr for the whole night. attend lecture..rush and apologise to lecturers who got to write my referees forms.. run around campus for a while…. well. tiredness seem to make me a better driver? interesting…

the feeling of stoned is coming back. well, i think i learned a few tips frm the kids i work with.. e.g. how to avoid work, how to stone effectively, how to steam…

rush rush…applications deadline tomorrow

feeling slightly more human today.

the inclass observation exam was….. well. ok. not sure how m i going to write it up. but it seems that we r on the right track..based on what chris lee said abt the voice thing. not going to try diagnosing the girl… we dont hv the timeline.. plus only ONE interview session.. too risky.

this sunday’s dinner is gonna be interesting.

anyway, mum send me stuff. jewellery that will make me look way older than i m. it is really weird.. come to think of it, when mum kept getting stuff that r too young for my taste.and now..she got somethign that is too old for my taste! :p well. the latter is better than the former i guess.. will grow into it in time… wahahahaa.. but it is nice of ma.. to actually remember when she is in china now. now.. i jus need a nice low cut top to go with that necklace. shucks mum.. i need to go shopping!!!!!!

the whole family got me some sort of jewellery. i actually see a pattern.. well..for grandma.. that’s fine..since i’m the only who in the family who loves what she chooses.. :p in terms of jewellery anyway. my mother gets them for me becoz she is stuck in the view that i’m like 13 again.. crazy over accessories.. neglecting to see that i no longer wear any other necklaces besides my cross. well..and the topaz pendent together with the cross that my dad got for me. this year. then again. does it matter at all? everything that they get for me is precious… hehe. well, parents r parents..they refuse to see their kid grow up ya?

most of the applications r sent of.. going to do curtin today-last min decision. see how that goes.

taking it easy today.. slowly.. surely.

my CV looks so.. haha.. well.. i had to chuck in things like the merit award by the singapore courtesy council…. aiyo. so high sch leaver sort of thing. what to do… with only one work experience under my belt.

vel n i realised.. crap. we seen all the horrible sides of each other in the span of 2 weeks. the catty side, bitchy side, whinning, manja, happy, crazy, optimistic, pessimistic, crying, mania.. emotions run deep. i think vel n i will never forget what happen in this past mth. the love, joy.. laughter, sadnness… waiting for the day when..we will sit down.. reminince and realised.. hons year isnt such a big deal.. is jus a stepping stone to the place we will go to. it is a growing curve.

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Romance

Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with my status now. jus running thoughts after a conversation.

who says that romance must be abt doing BIG things. who in the world start that idea? sure surprises r cool.. i love surrrrrprises occasionally as well. but showering a girl with gifts everytime jus isnt my idea of romance ya?

what happen to the good old fashion of jus.. plain initiative? small gestures.. like understanding where the girl is coming frm.. realising that the girl needs at that time. doing something different sometimes.. without those big resturant outing.. like.. perhaps.. making an effort to hv lunch with her when.. she knows u r busy…. or maybe.. help the girl with something without her asking…. flowers? chocolates? jewellery? blah. leave that out to really special days..

as for the girls.. well.. mm.. i remember how.. my friend..made the effort to make soup for her bf.. and delivered it to his hse. isnt that romance? isnt that sweet? or perhaps.. being by his side when he watches soccer.. although SHE HATES soccer.. yet the guy didnt appreciate it. the guy even said ‘i didnt ask u to do it’ in the end…the guy left her. how dumb can that get? does that mean she didnt give him romance? no. she did. the guy is jus too slow to understand what she is doing.

i remember when peg asked me.. what shld she do..or when a guy asked me. what shld he do for his girl.. well.. other than buying gifts.. y not a massage. in a rm full of candles? why not…jus packing some sandwiches.. and choose a nice spot for lunch. y not jus…a spontenous trip to sentosa or something like that..

romance to me jus means initiative. the little things that count. always.

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ruminations

chanel went out frm AI!!! but then again.. i dislike her outfit n some parts of the song anyway. hai. poor gal. then again, she is prob better off not in the comp…. her style is quite different frm the rest. tsk tsk tsk..

clearing my rm.. papers everywhere.. argh. bad bad bad.

it is amazing how ppl judged u so easily… how the blame game can be played. oh well *shrugs*

so many things to get used to at the moment…. and trying to support each other without getting too attached again. things shld never be taken for granted, yet it is easier said than done. emotions gathered r confusing yet enlightening. the process is painful yet something that it jus got to be done. not sure if the outcome will be good or bad…. nothing is certain.. still…u jus got to take the jump.

free.

on a brighter note, the semester is ending soon -ok. fine. so the exam is coming soon as well.. but looking back at this 4 years in uni.. one year in college.. .. all the love, joy.. and guess what? everything is coming to an end.

the end signals a start anyway- yeah i know..cliche.

it’s silly, i know, why in the world shld i be sad in leaving undergrad.. when my intentions r to be in postgrad? *roll eyes* but it’s what i learned, what we achieved.. things that i discovered abt myself.. and the world i suppose.

v said…. i’hv grown up even more.. know what i want.. perhaps. it is much clearer what i want now.. there r still question marks.. alot of them but the main pt is clearer. sometimes anyway.

benji said he never had to worry abt me.. *roll eyes* then again, i think i worry more abt him. hrmph.

sing ppl sing.

handed in the thesis yesterday at around 1:30pm.

it feels strange holding that 2 books.. well. it is practically a bk anyway. dont think i will get a first with that sort of expression in my discussion especially. it is not a good discussion for tying up the stuff for sure.

but nonetheless it’s OVER. oh crap. i actaully forgotten to thank professor carlson frm UC.. in the thesis. ah well. nm. too bad. not as if he is going to read it anyway.. wahahhah.

went out for dinner with JJ, christine, chris, mei en, chee, jimmy, adam n rob.. shared a beer with chee.. shared 2 seafood platter with 6 other ppl.. it was good fun. except i was too stoned to make a coherent conversation. i had to refrain to go to the bar.. i think if i take any more alchohol.. i will sure sleep like a baby in the pub/resturant. but it was great talking to them AFTEr this thesis thingie. jimmy, mei en n i had the same supervisor.. and we totally agree she ROCKS. she got this amazing ability to calm ppl down.. wahahahaha..

actually, come to think of it.. that was the FIRST time i saw jimmy this semester. he looked jus as stoned as me .. hahaha. but he faired better.. coz he can actually still continue the conversation….

btw vel didnt go..coz i found her asleep n thought it will be better if she slept instead. on the contrary to what she said.. she was remembered by the whole gang of coz!! *roll eyes*

went to jj’s place for awhile.. he cleaned up hse apparently.. :p meien took me back home.. showered.. sat on the bed..and stoned again.

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anyway.. i feel as if the blame is on me. as in. i dont know. 1 peter 3. and eph. 3. i know what my role is. but does he? how much shld one take? crap lah.

just gonna “seek His kingdom first” -the rest doesnt matter as much.

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jackson jus accused of me neglecting him again.. jus becoz i chase him out of my rm nearly 20 hrs my thesis hand up time..and therefore i shld listen to him saying how tired he was. *roll eyes* jackson jackson.. i will spend more time with ya lah.. aiyo. i need to clean up my rm and clear applications forms..and and…hai.. settle other stuff.

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my rm looks so horrible..that i dont want anyone to see it. its… well. i’m ashamed of it really. ha.

crazy

everything is in pieces. they need to come together. yet.. i’m too sian to move. ha

broke my own record..and didnt sleep the whole night. finally finished my discussion at 4pm.sent it off.. linger for a while..and hit the bed at 5pm. well, i did take ah hr nap in between.

haven been out of this hse for ages..wanna go shopping man. cant wait.

well, i planned to do my CV on monday night.post it off on tuesday. slack the whole day.. listen to the lecture that i missed this week..prepare for wednesday’ in class observation exam…

seems that ruthie wont be back in spore till mid-dec…. when will our bday bash be!!?! cant wait cant wait. to spend the whole night with the girls.

no ppl.. on the contrary to what my testimonials in friendster has been saying.. i’m straight as ever *roll eyes*

good books.. ah. jon jon.. give me a list of good bks to read when i get back to spore…. =) see, i’m deprived of books.

ok. i better look at my intro.. mm

3.5 days

that’s how much time i left.

technically, i shld be able to finish my discussion later tonight. technically…

cant wait for monday. when i can get the obsession over n done with.

heard ppl had already bound and bind their thesis. and i’m still at discussion.

well, the thing is.. the most recent news i recieve today means it is gonna push me harder. stress kills me…yet motivate me. yup. PD- i actually remembered all your psychophysiology lessons!

anyway.. i cancelled my work this saturday. So want to see the kids. but dont think i can take it. I need to spend more time doing up the appendixs..and making sure they r ok.

i jus want to back to bed really.