Salted Caramel Coffee Slice with Chocolate Swirls (Paleo, Gluten Free and Dairy Free) + 16 years in Australia

I arrived in Australia in 2000. 2 huge luggage cases full of stationery* and “must haves”. My mother and grandmother came with me. As an interim place to stay, I was housed in St Thomas along UWA. I was a teenager. Fresh out of secondary school. I was excited and fearless.

I moved into a little shared housing. For the first time in my life, I learned how to cook, do my laundry and clean the house. My mother checked in with me but together with my grandmother, they left following a week and a half in Perth. They decided that it was time that their little girl grow up and just learn how to be independent. 

I have never been away from them before. Till this day, I still remember how sad my grandmother’s eyes looked but how she smiled courageously. Over the years, I had the privilege of her visiting for long periods of time through my University life. Those memories are precious. 

There is much to write on. I was home sick. I wrecked up $300 bills worth of calls to friends and text messages to my family. In those days, we even had “icq” to connect with friends. My best girl friends would save money and call me. I would purchase “calling cards” and use public phones. I survived on packaged pasta sachets, and would drenched every thing with oyster sauce. Indo mee was a staple. With an fried egg of course. 

The better memories. Road trips. Late night suppers. Chats with friends. The rush to get my thesis(es) done-till the point I was sleeping surrounded by papers and books. The eerie corridor of the university labs at 1am. Learning new “words” in the aussie slang. Enjoying pub food and wineries. Embracing different cultures. Loving cafes and coffees. 

Then, with a blink of an eye… I’m in Australia for longer than I was in Singapore. 

This year, marked the start of the 17th year. Fleetingly, the thought came in my head a few times about this. After all, I consider myself a Singaporean and still holds a Singapore passport. Yet, I also identify myself with Australia. This is my home now. I have a son who is Australian. A husband who will soon hold an Australian passport. We love our life here. 

It’s a start of more to come. 

What is best to celebrate with a slice. A relatively creamy slice with the almond butter, coconut milk and tahini. It’s pretty addictive. I find it hard to stop at one! 

*I still have left over stationery!

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Strawberry Crumble Cake (Paleo, Gluten Free, Clean Eating) + Have that choice of eating well

This crumble cake was inspired purely because I had left over Rhubarb and Strawberry Compote left. Yes, we could have just have it for breakfast with our granola, but I thought it would make a wonderful moist filling for mini cakes. Truth is, I love strawberries. I am always finding ways to use them. 

To follow up with my previous post about simple food, I hope that I’m sending a message that healthy is delicious. I want Asher to grow up appreciating food. I hope to share the good news that it is ok to nourish our bodies. It is not hard and it is definitely a choice.  

Sometimes I am asked the question on how does my hubby feel about all these? 

We see us as a team. He saw the journey I went through and my battle with obesity. He saw how I battle with PCOS and our struggle with infertility. He watches documentaries. He witnessed his mother battling cancer and autoimmunity issues. He ate the food and he enjoyed it. 

Besides, we eat steaks. We have sweet potato chips. To him, we have not “lost” much if not any. What we had to do though, is to re adjust our food budget. We had to eat out less and cut back on other things to spend more money on vegetables, fruits and meat. On top of that, we love to shop at our local farmers market- which can be a tad pricier but so much fresher. Once hubby tasted the fruits, there was no turning back. 

How about traditional chinese meals? We still have time, just less of the sauces. If we travel overseas, we eat. We recognise that it is a small percentage of our meals overall so as long as it doesn’t make our tummy hurt, we don’t see a problem. 

Same goes to eating out. I do think it is much easier to do so here than in Asia countries where there are processed carbohydrates everywhere. Even my own mother brings her lunch to work because she found that there are way too much processed food at foodcourt in the hospital she works in! 

But back to Strawberry Crumble Cakes. That’s the reason why I experiment. I want hubby and Asher to know that we can have healthy treats that fuel the body. They make us feel good- all the time. Not just the 5 minutes that will pass our lips. 

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Raw Coconut Chocolate Brownies (Raw, Vegan, Paleo, Gluten Free, Dairy Free)

So Asher discovered chocolate. 

He whispered “chocolate cake” the other day when I asked what would he like for morning tea. That reply reminded me of why I should not ask him what he wants but just offer him some options instead. 

So we made brownies. Raw ones that goes into the food processor and he can eat via the spoonful. I made a version before using coffee but given that coffee is one that we do not want asher to try, we had to sneakily eat it. This one, was adapted so if he has a square, it would be alright. 

Interestingly, it only works with coconut milk. I find that almond milk or normal milk just doesn’t give it the right texture. Perhaps coconut milk gives it a creamier taste. I had to freeze half a batch though. For many reasons including portion control and not snacking on a whole heap of them at once. The other, is that I can show Asher an empty box and said “finished” when in actually fact there is half of it left in the freezer for hubby’s snack. (sneaky sneaky!) 

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Hazelnut Coffee Cookies with a Chocolate Drizzle (Paleo, Gluten Free, Eating Clean)+ Eating Socially

One of the challenges about choosing a lifestyle on clean eating is saying “no” at social events. Having worked on site and at home for about a year following Asher’s birth means there is little or no reason to have food with colleagues on site. Usually there would be some salad options or cold meats that I would happily have. At other social events, I would simply choose vegetables and meat, avoiding any sauces or baked goods usually. I make exceptions of course. When I know how much effort the host makes or it simply looks too good to say no to, I pick my battles and choose to indulge. 

Having start work in a clinic recently, it hit me that colleagues bond by eating. Being invited to a few morning teas means it is inevitable that I will look odd sitting there with my cup of green tea and not partaking in any of those delicious looking brownies or lemon tart that is on display. On my first day, I choose to have a slice of dark chocolate tart. The birthday girl said it was dark chocolate with some custard powder. The headache that I had after that lingered for hours and that totally reminded me of how my body has responded to not having too much sugar and processed food after a while. All a little strange though as I still have small bites of sweet desserts when I dine out with hubby or with friends, but I have not had one of those headaches for a while. It was a tiny wedge too which again, reminds me of how easily sugar or processed ingredients add up. 

Since then, I have been careful to avoid most sweet treats at work. I explained that my body appeared to not respond well to sugar, gluten and processed foods in general and have been advised to avoid them. So far, it worked and it didn’t look too awkward with my hot cup of tea and conversations. What reinforced me was the recent check up where my bloods and ultrasound showed PCOS symptoms as being managed. My GP stressed that I need to continue to be vigilant about my diet. In my head, I know that if I ever choose to indulge, it has to be awesomely good (and be willing to bear with the effects after. Not at work for sure!) 

I think to the outside world, it must seem contradicting. A piece of dark chocolate, a spoonful of cake or taste of ice-cream seems ok but not a slice of chocolate tart? How controlling do one has to be in food then? Is it borderline being food obsessed or having an eating disorder? I can see why those questions can start to occur. 

We headed out to dinner the other day with some friends. We had slow cooked beef ribs with carrots, sausage with sauerkraut and a bunch of other sides. For dessert, between the 4 of us and 2 toddlers, we had pumpkin pie and panna cotta with meringue and lemon curd. Did I taste any? Of course I did. Did I stop after some small bites? Yep. I was able to put my fork down after enjoying some. I tasted it enough to enjoy and did not feel like having any more. Did I freak? Not really. Naturally though, I did not want any other fruit or other foods when I came home except for a hot rooibos tea. The next day, I ate what I usually do on a Sunday. 

It is about seeing the whole picture. Loving my food means I like to try new things. Yet, I have to be conscious and in tune with how my body will react to it. Did I die from having that chocolate tart and headache? Nope. Did I obsess around it? Nope. I live and learn. I like to think it is about maturity and reading my body better. There are people with food allergies (think coeliac and nut allergies) and health conditions (e.g. diabetes) where people have no qualms saying it is ok to be selective. I truly think that there is no one size fits all and if that works for your family and body, then we should embrace it.  I would also like to think that it is ok to give myself permission to make that judgment on whether or not I want to eat that. Food is to be nourishing and enjoyed. 

I made these hazelnut coffee cookies one Friday afternoon when hubby had a tough week. I know he loves cookies and the smell of freshly baked goods when he walk in the door. Having some hazelnut meal at home, I paired it with coffee which turned out really lovely. It didn’t taste crisp for long though and I had to double baked it. still, I enjoyed that hazelnut crunch and change from almond meal. That is one cookie that I’m good with feeding my family (except for Asher with the coffee!) with. 

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Chewy Banana Date and Nut Bars + Toddler Snacks

The lure of the kids snacks section beckons. Just like snacks for adults, those little bars and crackers packed mini size is so convenient. Names with “muesli”, “yogurt”, “organic”, “whole fruit” on boxes appears to the health conscious mums and dads. 

I would admit that I have been lured into that section before. A little “organic date and dried fruit” bar sits in my handbag for those emergency times where Asher has finished what I have packed or when he rejected what I would prefer him to eat. 

Those times of course increased as Asher learned that there is a possibility of having a “bar” if he says no enough. He would even go through my handbag to locate that “spare treat”. 

Enough is enough, and we decided to reduce if not eliminate purchase of those bars. If as adults we bypass the muesli bars section, why is it any different for Asher? Thankfully, we were getting a box every month or two and we reduced that to pretty much none in the past 3 months. 

So what changed? Asher is generally a good eater, so really it is about pre planning for us. His snacks are

– Bananas

– Mandarins orange

-strawberries

– Cucumber and capsicum sticks. 

-Cherry tomatoes

– Hard boiled eggs

– warm milk or babycino if we are outside

– chia seed puddings

– home made custard

– some home made baked goodies such as banana muffins or bread 

–  sulphate free ham or some smoked salmon 

– chickpeas

– popcorn 

– biltong 

– baked sweet potato “chips”

You will probably noticed that we haven’t shy away from dairy in his diet. Asher seems to be able to digest it so we are going with the flow with that unless we noticed otherwise. We have also allowed him to have some legumes in his diet, with chickpeas and popcorn on the list. We figured out that we would prefer to know how he respond to them than to shock his system when he gets to school and share copious amount of processed food and legumes without our knowledge. Deep down, I do not want him to grow up thinking that there food is “bad” and would prefer to educate him on what nourishes his body and some food we eat that may be more for tastes and satisfaction and they are to be kept a limit. 

Asher loves the cakes I make. However, he still associates “bars” with store bought ones and had initially refused to try any of my creations till recently. Sometimes, I just tell him it’s cake and he would happily snack on them! Toddlers! This one was a winner for him. It is probably still a little too sweet for my liking but it sure beats opening a packet snack food for him. It is slightly chewy but still easy to swallow. My proud moment is when he prefers having what I make than store bought cakes. 

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Banana Carrot Bread (Paleo, Gluten Free, Nut Free, Clean Eating, Dairy Free)

This is my another attempt to make breakfasts ahead of time. On average, I would make a batch of banana bread or mini banana cakes for snacks/breakies every 6 – 8 weeks.  A batch of banana cakes freeze quite well so I usually make around 16 of them, freezing some and rationing it for breakfasts/snacks for the next 2 days.

Banana bread is always a winner in my household as it is portable and lovely when toasted up. Hubby loves his with a little butter while Asher just gobble it up whenever he sees it. It means I have one less thing to worry about in the morning. Now that my work hours are going to change mid August, I can see myself making more things in advanced. 

On my work days, breakfast ideas for me are simple. 

– greek yogurt with fresh berries or passionfruit and 2 tbsp of my coconut granola

– soft boiled eggs with smoked salmon and sauerkraut. The best thing is that hubby wakes earlier than me so he would prepare them and I would have breakie ALL done when I come down to the kitchen! I love that. 

– maybe two slices of the banana bread

– Coconut Vanilla Chia pudding

– Coconut granola with kefir or almond milk 

For Asher and my hubby

– The above except both does not like yogurt!

– Asher likes banana and avocado or avocado with some pear or apple! 

– Asher would have rice puffs mixed with sliced almonds with milk

– Hubby might have a slice or two of whatever I baked and in the fridge. 

Other grab and go breakfasts ideas are welcomed. 

I decided that I could shred and add some carrots to the banana bread one day- just for variety but also added nourishment and nutrients. We all loved it! The sweetness of carrots and banana went so well. I was so excited that I brought a few slices to our friends who then proceeded to send me a photo of her little boy giving a thumps up! More veggies into our kids can’t be wrong isn’t it!

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Choc Chip Chickpea Cookies (Gluten Free, Refined Sugar Free) + Working Mum Guilt

We were having a conversation about the working mum guilt. I’m not talking about the feeling I have walking away from my son as he settles in day care. I’m talking about the kinda of guilt I feel at work. 

The flexibility that I receive at work is amazing. If Asher is sick, I can shift things around- sometimes working evenings and even on days that I’m not supposed to be on. Mostly, it is a system of trust. As long as I get my work done, and I’m contactable, the organisation is happy. There is also a certain accountability where I let people know what I’m doing and where I am. I think that is fair. 

The other side of the coin is that with a flexible work place, it means the expectation is that we have to respond to the organisation’s flexibility. Changing work days, times and training days to suit. While we can always say no, I often find myself saying yes because I think it is only fair that the organisation and myself work together collaboratively.

There are times though, that I remind myself to say no. It’s very easy to let time and tasks get away and suddenly, it gets stressful trying to coordinate everyone’s timetable. That is when the sneaky guilt sets in. Being part time makes me more aware of each hour I have is precious- more in a being productive way. It does, however, feel “less productive” as naturally, things are sometimes completed slower with less days in the week. The momentum can get lost by the time I returned to the topic that was on hand 2 days back. 

On the others side of the coin, this allows me to take a breather from the topic at hand. It allowed me to slow down to sit on the issue for a little and not react. 

My dear husband reminded me the other day, that part of the reason why I choose to do part time work is to be present with Asher. To enjoy our little family and channel my energy in attuning to us. He said he noted that as proud of him with the way I handle work and home, he observed that while physically I’m not working, my brain is there. I was “slowing down and thinking”. 

There is a common perception that part time mummies have it easy. The perfect work life balance so it seems. I think on many levels, that is true. I like it that my brain is used for something other than mummy and family duties- and that I’m impacting on other families. I love the flexibility and the evidenced based focus. I believe though, that we work hard for it. I may not be at work, but my mind drifts to work at times because it makes my work day more efficient. I have already thought about it and am ready to action. 

At the back of my head, there is that voice. The voice that tells me that I’m not doing my best at work or at home. I feel torn. The exhaustion is part of trying to juggle both. Is there such thing as work life balance? Perhaps. One thing for sure, it means I have to take the good with the bad. I have great weeks and not so great weeks, and that is ok. After all, I’m role modelling to my little boy on how to say no, switch off, and have strong work ethics. 

Speaking of my little boy, I discovered this chickpea cookies recipes a few months back. A good and close friend shared it with me. Now, we are not big wheat or legumes eaters. Mostly we avoid it. I know that legumes can be inflammatory hence less is more. From time to time, we have it and it seems to sits ok with us. This is one of those occasion. Plus I was curious! 

The result was a moist, fudgy cookie! The texture was crumby just like a cookie should be! I used mayvers nut butter and tahini  and it worked a treat. I think if I added in a full 1/2 cup tahini, it would have been too bitter. 

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Cashew and Hazelnut Brittle (Paleo, Gluten Free, Clean Eating)

My husband is not a big snacker. You would think that with my constant experimenting in the kitchen, and fridge filled with snacks, he would be excited about it. Truth is, sometimes he is and sometimes he isn’t. Even if I have spent time making a double layer hazelnut torte (which I did!) for our Anniversary, he would eat it but he wouldn’t go hunting for it. 

I have said before that my husband has a better relationship with food than myself. He eats when he is hungry and if he enjoys it. He doesn’t see any whatsoever emotional attachment to food even if it is a cake for our anniversary. To him, our anniversary is bigger than a slice of cake. He is appreciative of course, but how he eats reflects his healthy relationship with good and attunement to his hunger cues. 

This brittle changes things (This plus cookies and sesame snaps). He raids the fridge for it. He requested it to be placed in his snack box. He loves it so much that the whole container disappeared in 2 days. 

Then I know, I have found a winner. Why wouldn’t this be? It is crunchy, it is rich and it is not sickly sweet. It is just a celebration of cashews, hazelnuts and vanilla creaminess with a crunch. 

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Tahini Chocolate Fudge

I never thought that I have a sweet tooth. Sure, I do like my desserts but I like my savoury snacks too. These days, I like to keep a stash of some form of snacks in the freezer whenever the feeling hits. It’s usually post lunch where I just felt like something special or additional. 

The tricky thing about these sort of snacks is that it is easy to “just have one more”. No matter how clean they are, I like to remember the reason why I am eating it. Often, I ask myself the questions of

1) Am I hungry?

2) Is it a chocolate craving?

3) Did I eat enough for lunch?

4) Is it because I’m just peckish? 

Eat consciously is what I’m getting at. 

So many times I just scoff down food in a hurry. Being a mum does it to you. It’s even worse on my work day. Working part time means I’m constantly trying to squeeze in as many tasks as possible. Often, this result in lunch by the desk or a snack in the car. Wednesdays are worse for me. If I don’t eat, I find it really hard to attend my boxing class. 

That’s when freezer protein snacks like that comes in handy. The tahini provides a rich flavour, with the cacao bitterness showing through. I savour this. You can’t not. Almost like a reece peanut butter cup. Just almost. 

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Fig and Mango Agar Agar Jelly (Paleo, Gluten free, Dairy Free, Refined Sugar free)

Since I started working, I felt that my world has gotten smaller. I’m getting good at saying no, and scheduling less on weekends. I’m better at receiving help and having a blind eye when household chores doesn’t get done as quickly as what I would like. Meals have become simpler. Most weeks, I would have at least 1 meal that I cook a double batch which would be the next day’s dinner as well. 

I’m not as good in replying messages or being on top of catching up with friends. Most of our friends are in a similar situation, where time is so precious that rest/activities/children get prioritised above meet ups. Sometimes I feel bad, but then realised that when it comes to friendships, it’s a joint responsibility between us. The other thing I realised is that not meeting/connecting over messages/coffees/meals isn’t necessary a bad thing. When friends meet, we fall back into the same pattern. The same keenness to catch up. The genuineness in wanting to know how things are going with work, relationships, health and life. It may have been 3 months since we spoke but that gap does not seem to matter as much anymore. 

Friendships and parenthood. It’s a strange combination. I’m of an opinion that just because I’m a parent does not mean I do not need friends. Also, I don’t just need parent friends. I need grown up friends who will talk to me about other things than looking kids too. Having said that, I appreciate every parent friend I have. They always puts things into perspective for me. 

I made these pretty little jellies twice. Once was for a meet up with some friends over roast meats and chats. The other, was for family. Both times, I enjoyed making them. I love the pretty colours. The purple from the fig, and yellow from the orange. Because I used coconut cream, I felt that I need not add much sweetness since the fruit gave it a little touch of sweetness too. Bite size cuteness. I hope you like this as much as I do!

 

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