What defines you as a wife or husband? Is it your ability to keep the house clean, manage the kids or bring in the bacon? It sounds so deep and meaningful but it all comes down to what your perception of what you think a wife or husband look like in a marriage.
Prior to our wedding, we had pre marital counselling which revealed that hubby and I are traditional in our nature. We appear to have our own defined roles. For example, hubby takes the rubbish out. I like to do the cooking. Many of our definitions and image are of course shaped by what we see around us. Our parents, friends, relatives and even media.
Fast forward 6 years later, we realised that it goes deeper than that. As marriage falls into a lovely comfortable rhythm, it is so easy to mistake these roles as fixed. A marriage is after all a partnership. When one needs help, the other pull him/her up. When a particular household chore can’t be completed, the other, knowing what it is, can attempt if not at least asked how the chore is done. Sometimes, it is no longer the “that’s her job” or “that’s his role” anymore.
Staying at home part time makes me do more. I can fix things (aka put together broken toys), open jars (all those gym workout is making me stronger), take the rubbish out, clear the dishwasher, drive to more places, play rough, learn how to operate the entertainment system at home, and dare I say it, even lift heavy items. (Given a chance and a need, I might even change the lightbulb). Doing these things make me appreciate hubby more- after all, most of the time, he does them. Deep in my heart, I hope he realises how much I do around too!
Which brings me to the next point. Do you know and appreciate what your partner/spouse is doing? Has marriage and your relationship fallen into the rhythm that it has easily fallen into defined roles and responsibilities?
Having a child makes me realise how much we co depend on each other. That used to scare me. Prior to marriage, I was the pro single career focused woman who has a clear vision in my head on what my life will be. Ask hubby. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I interviewed him for the position as my life partner. As time goes on, I realised I have fallen not only for him, but lean heavily on his support as a life partner. Sure, when we both get busy, it can fall into the way side. Marriage is after all a process not the end of a relationship. It’s a team. One I hope we can role model to our young Asher.
Marriage and deep and meaningful conversation aside, I created these Anzac look alike cookies in April. I call them coconut and date too because I believe that the traditional Anzac cookies would probably not have fancy ingredients like dates and almond meal! They are pretty yummy though. Truth be told, I’m trying to figure out a cookie recipe that Asher will have at home. Day care and sometimes church creche would provide him with an arrowroot Arnott biscuits. Nothing wrong with them if you can take them, but I am trying to find something that is more nutrition denied. One day, I will figure it out! This one? Not a winner in his books, but certainly in ours!