Coconut and Date Cookies aka Anzac Cookies (Paleo, Clean Eating, Gluten Free) + Roles Definition Husband and Wife

What defines you as a wife or husband? Is it your ability to keep the house clean, manage the kids or bring in the bacon? It sounds so deep and meaningful but it all comes down to what your perception of what you think a wife or husband look like in a marriage. 

Prior to our wedding, we had pre marital counselling which revealed that hubby and I are traditional in our nature. We appear to have our own defined roles. For example, hubby takes the rubbish out. I like to do the cooking. Many of our definitions and image are of course shaped by what we see around us. Our parents, friends, relatives and even media. 

Fast forward 6 years later, we realised that it goes deeper than that. As marriage falls into a lovely comfortable rhythm, it is so easy to mistake these roles as fixed. A marriage is after all a partnership. When one needs help, the other pull him/her up. When a particular household chore can’t be completed, the other, knowing what it is, can attempt if not at least asked how the chore is done. Sometimes, it is no longer the “that’s her job” or “that’s his role” anymore. 

Staying at home part time makes me do more. I can fix things (aka put together broken toys), open jars (all those gym workout is making me stronger), take the rubbish out, clear the dishwasher, drive to more places, play rough, learn how to operate the entertainment system at home, and dare I say it, even lift heavy items. (Given a chance and a need, I might even change the lightbulb). Doing these things make me appreciate hubby more- after all, most of the time, he does them. Deep in my heart, I hope he realises how much I do around too! 

Which brings me to the next point. Do you know and appreciate what your partner/spouse is doing? Has marriage and your relationship fallen into the rhythm that it has easily fallen into defined roles and responsibilities? 

Having a child makes me realise how much we co depend on each other. That used to scare me. Prior to marriage, I was the pro single career focused woman who has a clear vision in my head on what my life will be. Ask hubby. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I interviewed him for the position as my life partner. As time goes on, I realised I have fallen not only for him, but lean heavily on his support as a life partner. Sure, when we both get busy, it can fall into the way side. Marriage is after all a process not the end of a relationship. It’s a team. One I hope we can role model to our young Asher. 

Marriage and deep and meaningful conversation aside, I created these Anzac look alike cookies in April. I call them coconut and date too because I believe that the traditional Anzac cookies would probably not have fancy ingredients like dates and almond meal! They are pretty yummy though. Truth be told, I’m trying to figure out a cookie recipe that Asher will have at home. Day care and sometimes church creche would provide him with an arrowroot Arnott biscuits. Nothing wrong with them if you can take them, but I am trying to find something that is more nutrition denied. One day, I will figure it out! This one? Not a winner in his books, but certainly in ours!

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Happy 6th Wedding Anniversary

I look back at our wedding photos and videos. I remembered what an epic party that was. A celebration of us. 

6 years later. 

3 weddings. What were we thinking? Crazy I say. It was such good fun being with our friends and family. Travelling with our friends and family. Heading straight into tradition. Dressing in my traditional “Kua” picked out for me by my grandmother. There were heaps of things she picked up for us actually. The sewing kit that I still used. The tea set that is kept away safely. The cute little bed side lamps- signifying that she hope our love will never dim. 

This year is a year of back to basics. The culture of busyness is so easy to fall into. Chasing something. Doing something. Never stops. Last year, it was a year of trying to put each other ahead of being parents. 

Probably one of the hardest thing we have done. I dare say, I have failed many times in that. On top of being parents, returning to work means things have to be placed on the back burner. I still have to constantly remind myself to turn that iPad off, or stop checking my emails. I find it harder to concentrate on our conversations as my mind wander off to different direction. 

I breathe. I think this is going to be a learning process. One that we can’t stop. 

What I do appreciate though, is that after 6 years of being married- is that hubby never stops trying. The other day, I woke up to find 2 loads of laundry done and hung. Hot water is boiled so I can have my hot lemon water drink when I wake. Those simple things that counts so much. 

I think love has generally taken a different direction altogether. Mostly, I think being considerate shapes us and our relationship. Being considerate is when he knows I’m going to work and have huge days of meetings ahead- so he wakes up 15 minutes earlier to get more things done (that’s 5:30am!). Being considerate is when he schedules car servicing on the day that I can work from home- plus he drops Asher off and picks him up that day. So many inconveniences on his part, but he would do it   anyway. 

Then we have kindness. Coming home before 5 pm means he has to start work early to finish work at around 4pm. Why? Because he knows I’m dying to get to the gym and have a quick workout. He knows moving means a lot to me- makes me less cranky, and I feel better generally through the day), so he does his best to make it happen. Kindness is when he smile and eat whatever I make anyway.. even it tastes average. 

6 years of consideration and kindness. I’m a lucky girl I think! 

Happy 6th Anniversary (which means we have been together for 10 years!) dear hubs! 

xx

wifey

The night before…. + Dark Almond Coconut Cookies

It was 6 years ago. Friends and family gathered. It was the night before. 

On the 23rd of April 2009. The day before we got signed on the dotted line. I don’t remember much, except that I felt the butterflies in my stomach, the quiet excitedness that I’m marrying the man that I love. 

Every year, I write a post on what I learned and what I aim to achieve in our married life for the next year. This year though, I thought I would do something in addition to that. I wanted to pause and recall those moments 6 years ago. 

So often life gets ahead of us. We rush and run. Work gets ahead. Having Asher changes things. It’s really easy to let time slips through our fingers and forget why we are here in the first place. 

6 years ago. The day before. 

I don’t remember much but I remember how I felt. 

I was a ball of emotions. I don’t remember feeling fear. I remember feeling a sense of calm. I prayed. It was like I just knew that the decision will be the right one. I remembered thinking back my health scare (where I found a lump on my neck- turned out to be nothing), and how hubby held my hand and said he will be there. I recall those days where I was overweight and was heavier (and taller) than him while we were dating. That did not faze him. I thought back of my anxiety while writing my thesis. He greeted me with coffee. I closed my eyes and remembered how we prayed together, when we did not know if we should move our relationship forward. I giggle as I recall how anxious he was when he asked me to be his girlfriend and even more so when he asked me to marry him. 

Fast forward. 6 years. The day before we signed the papers. 

I want to remember those feelings because in this journey of 6 years. It was the level of commitment. Steadfastness. Kindness and forgiveness that brought us here. 

I want to hold these feelings tight and close to me. It has been a lovely 6 years and I’m sure more to come. 

These cookies have been 10 years in the making.  I know how much hubby loves these. I’m pleased to say my last experimentation worked. Coconut sugar was the key. It add the melt in your mouth texture, and not a lot was needed as well. You deserve every bite my darling! Thanks for the patience, as I made these gems!

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