Mango Bread (Paleo, gluten free, dairy free) + Murky Roles

Is being a father/mother = to being a good husband/wife? 

The other day hubby and I had a conversation about roles in parent hood. While it may seem clear cut on what our roles are, it can often be more murky than what it seems. 

First up, it does depends on your definition of what a husband or wife should be. For some people, it is about being a partner in life. We uplift each other, we give honest thoughts, we pray. Perhaps we enjoy checking out cafes and coffee. We have heart to heart conversations, have similar thoughts on current affairs. We may share a love for musicals. We do housework together and is there for each other when the going gets tough.We have a good laugh. Most of all we like each other.

Then we have definition of what a parent is like. The usual routine, caring for a child, playing. We may think that providing financially is also one of our roles. 

Gently, we teased out the differences. Being a mother/father may contribute being a partner in a relationship but it does not define it. I love seeing hubby being a dad. It gives me great joy when I see hubby plays with Asher or teaching him a skill that I did not even think of teaching. I love seeing how Asher looks up to his dad with those eyes that says “daddy is his hero”. It makes me warm and fuzzy. It fills me with love. Yet I also long for those days and luxuries when I have hubby’s undivided attention. Flowers and gifts. Notes in my lunch box and sweet words. Hubby too realises that he misses being the centre of my attention where I am more flexible in my scheduling, more spontaneous in checking out food places and perhaps less snappiness when I’m tired. He misses my messages on why I love him, and why I respect him. He cares for those evenings when we do not have to rushed to finish getting ready for the next day but just enjoy each other’s company. He would like our conversation to be round us and our dreams/goals- and not just be around what we need to do and need each other to do.

Being a parent is hard work. Being in a marriage and a parent = triple the hard work. The unspoken is that it takes a lot of effort to keep a family together. I certainly appreciate having this conversation to keep me in check, but in reflection of our day to day actions as a couple. 

This is one of hubby’s favourite breakfast in summer. The sweetness and creaminess of mango means the bread does not need any other sweeter. Asher for some reason does not like mangos. I think it is the texture (I’m sure he will come around though). Sometimes I may not make something (in order to maximise amount of return for the energy output to make it) because Asher doesn’t eat it as much- but this time, it is for hubby because he likes it. 

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Zucchini Apple Chai Spiced Loaf (Gluten Free, Paleo, Dairy Free)

I’m not sure what happened but there was one week when we had 4 zucchinis in the fridge. Planing got a little wrong here perhaps or I was just nervous about not having enough (?) zucchinis for our meals. I like to rotate our vegetables on a weekly basis, but somehow there are some vegetables that would frequently, if not weekly be in our shopping baskets. Asher has his moments too and at this stage, mushrooms are his favourites. We would count carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, and capsicums as staples too.  I would say that zucchinis have been a frequent occurrence perhaps in the past year or so- especially when we bought our spiraliser and have been spirialising vegetables for dinners. 

I have not made a zucchini chocolate cake yet, but have paired it with apple to make this loaf. I’m such a big fan of loaves. This, toasted with a hint of butter is delicious in the morning for breakfast. Or with a side of coffee for my 4 pm slump time. Either way, I really like loaves because they are easy to make, forgiving and makes a nutritious “bread” if we feel like having some. 

For the past 2 months or so, I have been experimenting not adding any other sweetener other than just a fruit to bakes. So far so good although I think for bakes involving cacao, some honey or rice malt is unavoidable. My stance is that if there is no need for it, then let’s not add it for habit sake.

In an ironic way, I’m also a little more relaxed when baking about the use of sweeteners. Like all ingredients, I’m seeing it as how to use it effectively. I recognise that that tsp of honey or coconut sugar is harmless mostly, if we take care of our lives in a wholesome manner. 

I have always maintain that our relationship with ourselves, food and others is evolving. Practicing being kind to self can be hard work!

Not making this loaf though. What other pairing goes well with zucchini I wonder? 

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American Pumpkin Scone (Clean Eating, Gluten Free) + Enjoying moments

One of the things having Asher taught me, is to appreciate the moments

The moments where he turned my face towards him and smile

Where he helped me packed his clothes away (translate to throwing his folded clothes into his basket = pile of mess)*

Stirring the bowl as we create breakfast or snack bars together

He recounted his steam engine train experience

Our library trips

Reading

Singing in the car

And as a family

Heading outdoors and having a sit down lunch, facing the pond on a sunny spring day. Followed by kicking/throwing the ball and catching bubbles. 

Family meals. Talking about our day and how our food tastes like.

Exploring new cafes

Walks and more walks around our neighbourhood

Dancing and singing to “bob the builder”, “Wheels on the bus” “ABC”

Doing family chores together (i.e. folding clothes, putting clothes away, hanging them)

Chatting

Hubby and I

Chilling over a cup of tea and fruits when Asher is in bed

Enjoying a good cup of coffee

The quiet conversation we can have when Asher falls asleep at the back of the car or when he is taking a nap

Watching a movie at home (Thanks to apple TV!)

By myself

A shower

A workout

A drive to any where by myself

Creating something/any thing 

I am a planner. I dislike wasting time and like to have my days and weeks schedule. This include weekends and public holidays. Over the past 2 years, I have also learn that you can be a planner and appreciate the moments. After all, life is not about the next moment always. It is about the journey. 

Take these scones. I’m researching on how to make “clean” scones at home. My grandmother used to love hers with lashes of jam and cream (more cream than anything else). Since we do not have any flour at home, it is a tad hard to make fluffy scones. I found these American versions of scones which is more like a cross between a bread and a cake. Not quite a muffin either. Asher love mixing the batter up and holding his “cake” to it. So it is not quite a proper English version but a very happy experimental one that contains great protein to boot. No complains with what he is eating here!

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Lemon Pistachio Cakes (Gluten Free, Nut Free, Clean eating, Paleo) + Life as a working mum

My mind ticks and turns. I have this list of things running in my head all the time. 

Having said that, working 3 days seem to be working for us. We dropped some other commitments and I find that the “long weekend” I have with Asher is working. How do I know?

• We are starting to get into the groove of weekend bulk cutting/cooking
• I’m falling into the routine of when to do certain household chores like clothes folding and general cleaning
• I can focus and work those 3 days, yet feel that I have time with Asher

Of course there are weeks where it feels a little more tiring than usual. Hubby commented that he notices that by Thursday, I look shattered. I may look that way but it is also a sense of relieve that I get to spend that wonderful full day with Asher on Friday. We have pj mornings where we stay in doors, get some household chores completed but we would also draw/paint or create something in the kitchen. Sometimes I would make pancakes which apparently is his favourite food at the moment! 

These lemon pistachio cakes were created during one of those friday mornings. Since I love cooking and baking, I can’t help but want to involve Asher in it. Sometimes he is very enthusiastic and wants to beat the eggs up or fold in ingredients. Other times he can be curious and want to know what each item is. There are also times where he prefer to do his own thing and leave me to my own devices. 

I used almond milk but feel free to use usual milk or a water down version of coconut milk if you like. I love pistachios. In chinese they are known as “Happy Fruit”. They are pretty expensive though and I use it sparingly. 

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Quinoa Coconut Chocolate Bars (Clean eating, nut free gluten free) + What is your food philosophy?

When someone asks me what my food philosophy is, I struggle to come out with words to describe it. Often, I would use words such as “Paleo + principles of clean eating”. I identify with the paleo, mainly with their back to the basics way of eating. We have a lot of plant based foods at home with a healthy amount of protein. Do we indulge in rice, legumes and dairy? I would say we do. I have a greek or just natural yogurt in the morning for breakfasts, and hubby loves a few slices of cheese in his snack box. Does that make us paleo then? Perhaps not in the true sense. 

Then perhaps clean eating describe us better? Not completely either. We hardly ever have oats (somehow it doesn’t sit well with us?)and we do not have legumes in every meal. How about “no sugar”? You can say that too. We have very little refined sugar in our diet. Does not mean we do not have a bite of dessert here and there. 

Imagine me in a social situation saying “cheeky paleo, clean eating, no sugar, sort of gluten free” (Insert social suicide + confusion). 

Honestly, when did it get so hard? It hit me though, that labels should not define us. We do not fit into those boxes neatly. Truth is I seek recipes and look at inspirations from all the above labels. Often I would just say 

“We aim to eat very little processed food, pretty much no gluten and no refined sugar” 

or 

“We eat as naturally and plant based as possible with little processed ingredients.”

or 

” Yes we eat a lot of vegetables, meat, seafood with some cheese and yogurt” 

And I think that’s our food philosophy. 

As part of our “spring cleaning” exercise, I have been trying to keep track of ingredients and food in our fridge, freezer and pantry. I wanted to finish using half open packets of ingredients before purchasing others. Sitting at the back was my bottle of quinoa flakes. Quinoa flakes doesn’t quite fit into the “paleo” category since it is technically a pseudo grain. However, I do think that as a carb, it provides more protein than other carbohydrates sources out there. 

So in that went in a bowl together with some random ingredients. You know how yummy recipes appear through randomness? This is one of them. It was crisp, and yummy. I love the texture and the crunch! 

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“Red Velvet” Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Yogurt Frosting (Nut Free, Clean Eating, Gluten Free)

I hand these little cupcakes out to Asher’s educators on his birthday.  I was so happy with my experimentation that I made another batch for some friends. They look so decadent and pretty. I wait for their response. “Oh, it tastes like a normal cupcake” they say. 

Healthy baking can be delicious and pretty too. People often associate healthy and clean eating as lettuce leaves with plain grilled chicken breasts.  I like to challenge that for sure. 

Truth be told I have not made cupcakes since Asher was 1 month old (When I made carrot cupcakes with cream cheese frosting). I’m not a great froster and so I never quite had the patience for them. This time round, I was “in the zone” and actually thought to myself that I could do this! 

These red velvet cupcakes are made with beetroot and coconut flour. Somehow, I managed to find the ratio that works. It isn’t too eggy, and it looks and tastes like cake. My only issue is that I’m used to not having much sweetness now, hence mostly I’m good with the sweetness coming from the beetroot. The cacao though does gives it a bitter after taste so I have to consciously add 2-3 tbsp of honey more than what I would do usually to give it a lift. Still, 3 tbsp + sweetness from beetroot for 12 cupcakes is pretty good I say. 

Now I would be the first to admit that the frosting is not paleo. It has cream cheese AND yogurt in it. You can choose to make a butter cream frosting, or whip up some coconut cream one. Or you can do a double chocolate by melting some dark chocolate with coconut milk to make a ganache! Now that would be decadent. 

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Chewy Banana Date and Nut Bars + Toddler Snacks

The lure of the kids snacks section beckons. Just like snacks for adults, those little bars and crackers packed mini size is so convenient. Names with “muesli”, “yogurt”, “organic”, “whole fruit” on boxes appears to the health conscious mums and dads. 

I would admit that I have been lured into that section before. A little “organic date and dried fruit” bar sits in my handbag for those emergency times where Asher has finished what I have packed or when he rejected what I would prefer him to eat. 

Those times of course increased as Asher learned that there is a possibility of having a “bar” if he says no enough. He would even go through my handbag to locate that “spare treat”. 

Enough is enough, and we decided to reduce if not eliminate purchase of those bars. If as adults we bypass the muesli bars section, why is it any different for Asher? Thankfully, we were getting a box every month or two and we reduced that to pretty much none in the past 3 months. 

So what changed? Asher is generally a good eater, so really it is about pre planning for us. His snacks are

– Bananas

– Mandarins orange

-strawberries

– Cucumber and capsicum sticks. 

-Cherry tomatoes

– Hard boiled eggs

– warm milk or babycino if we are outside

– chia seed puddings

– home made custard

– some home made baked goodies such as banana muffins or bread 

–  sulphate free ham or some smoked salmon 

– chickpeas

– popcorn 

– biltong 

– baked sweet potato “chips”

You will probably noticed that we haven’t shy away from dairy in his diet. Asher seems to be able to digest it so we are going with the flow with that unless we noticed otherwise. We have also allowed him to have some legumes in his diet, with chickpeas and popcorn on the list. We figured out that we would prefer to know how he respond to them than to shock his system when he gets to school and share copious amount of processed food and legumes without our knowledge. Deep down, I do not want him to grow up thinking that there food is “bad” and would prefer to educate him on what nourishes his body and some food we eat that may be more for tastes and satisfaction and they are to be kept a limit. 

Asher loves the cakes I make. However, he still associates “bars” with store bought ones and had initially refused to try any of my creations till recently. Sometimes, I just tell him it’s cake and he would happily snack on them! Toddlers! This one was a winner for him. It is probably still a little too sweet for my liking but it sure beats opening a packet snack food for him. It is slightly chewy but still easy to swallow. My proud moment is when he prefers having what I make than store bought cakes. 

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Mini Orange Coconut Cakes (paleo, gluten free, nutfree, dairy free) + How I survive early mornings and late nights

You know those days where setting the alarm is important? It hardly exists in my household anymore. Asher loves waking up early in the mornings. We rejoiced when he wakes between 6-7am. Sometimes it is between 5:30-6:30am. It’s what makes parenthood interesting. You never know what time you will wake. Take this morning, he woke up at 6:50am aka meaning I had a SLEEP IN! How good was that! 

I’m finding it really tricky to sleep earlier though. Since starting work, those quiet evenings when Asher sleeps becomes even more precious. He usually goes to bed between 7:30-8pm. It does varies depending on his nap times and if we are out on weekends. Generally though, he is asleep by 8:30pm latest. Hubby and I would then clean up, prep for the next day, put a load of washing on and watch an episode of Masterchef with a bowl of fruits and hot tea. That is when we attempt to have a decent conversation and plan for the weekend or whatever event we have on. That means we try to get to bed by 11pm, though realistically, it’s closer to 11:30pm. 

So if we have sleep between 11:30pm-5:30am, that’s around 6 hours. Give and take an additional hour or so. Hey, pretty good right? Not on the nights where Asher has difficulty settling or falls sick. On average, Asher will wake once a night. Most nights, it doesn’t  take long to re settle him. He just want to know we are around and nearby. A comfort hug and light strokes and he is back down in 15 minutes. Other nights, we have NO idea why he is up. We would have gone through the list and he would still be upset. It could be toddler nightmares or teething. Whatever the case is, we try to comfort him the best we can by being present. 

So really? On some nights, one of us will have less than 5 hours of sleep. Maybe 3-4 hours. How do we manage to get through the day?

– Hubby and I try to take turns. We learned that it is easier to take turns by days. So at least one of us have a decent night sleep on some nights. This usually makes the next night more bearable.

– Coffee. I would need a shot by 4pm. I try to delay drinking coffee till the late afternoon when I really need it. Some people struggle with sleep having coffee so late in the day. I need it to stay awake till 11pm!! hubby would have his earlier in the morning though. 

– We have a mattress in Asher’s room. Some nights, it is just easier to sleep there or with him on the mattress. That buys us an additional hr or two sleep. Plus it’s more comfortable than sleeping on the carpet. 

– Eat well. I cannot stress how important nutrition is. Just keeping vegetable sticks, nuts, protein like eggs around helps to keep the sugar level balance and not range for sweets when the 3pm slumps hits. Also, breakfast. If I have to wake at 5:30am, give me my food! 

– I may look like a zombie at the gym at 5:30pm but I always feel better after a workout. That endorphins hit is so good…

– First thing I do when I wake up is to hit the loo, brush my teeth and wash my face. Part of my morning routine is put on make up and going out clothes. That helps me feel a little more human and look slightly more presentable. 

– Keep busy. I try not to think about how little or much sleep I have. I just have to keep moving and doing things. 

– On days that I do not work and put Asher down for a nap, I might rest with him. It might be between 10-20 minutes but it makes a big difference. 

– Having something positive to look forward to. On weekends, we have family lunches. A good coffee always makes me happy. And a trip to the farmers markets. 

I like to think that I can be more productive if I wake earlier. On my work days, I tell myself that I get an extra 30 minutes or so with Asher before work begins. On my non-work days,  I might do a quick vacuum around the house before our swimming class. I might schedule in an activity with Asher. Like these cakes for instance. Asher has developed a curiosity  around what we do in the kitchen. Plus he loves oranges. 

Using the pressure cooker, I steamed the orange for 15 minutes while he ate breakfast. Then all I did was to sit him on the bench, and get him to tip measured out ingredients into the food processor. He watches it whirls while giving me a cuddle (It still scares him a little!), and then we try spooning it to the little cups. I place it in the oven, and tell him that he made it. He patiently waited for those cakes to come out of the oven, cool and had one before his swimming class. Then he looked at me and said “asher made” with that bright look in his eyes.

That made me melt a little. Perhaps that 5:30am wake up was worth it (who am I kidding…?!?) 

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Chorizo Lamb Kale Soup

The cold is starting to set in. The mornings and nights are chilly but in the day, it’s actually quite pleasant. While most people dislike the cold, I’m neutral. I love what it comes with- cosy blankets, hot drinks, boots, sweaters and most of all the comfort food. 

I love soups. For many reasons. The biggest one is that it is easy to make a big pot that will lasts a long way. Two dinners and sometimes, even for 2 lunches. Plus, it is usually quick to whip up provided we have some stock in the freezer. I love letting it simmer on the stove, or in my pressure cooker. We do not own a slow cooker (as I’m an appliance hoarder!) but I would imagine that it is an useful tool setting up to “cook and forget”. 

In our household, we seem to prefer chunky soups with a bite. Not only that, we like having red meat in it. I think with the pressure cooking or slow cooking, the meat seems to just melt in your mouth. We find that Asher seem have a little more red meat if it is in the form of a soup too. 

Whenever we have a lamb roast, I tend to keep the bones. Adding to the pot would be some celery leaves, carrots, tomatoes, and whatever that is left in my fridge really. Bay leaves, pepper corns and perhaps some herbs from the garden are all added to the pot. Simmer in my pressure cooker for 1-2 hours and I let it cool. I tend to separate it into 2 cups each or in ice cubes for cooking. I used to purchase packet stocks but I have since realised how much more cost efficient- not to mention it is a good use of bones that are left from roasting. I do the same with chicken frames- I freeze them after making a roast, and often have a few slow brewing away or in my pressure cooker. I tend to make stock once a month depending on how much soups or pressure cooking we do. 

Chorizo is a favourite in our household. Ever since we found Eurochef, we never buy any other kind of chorizos anymore. They do use pink salt as the preservatives but that’s pretty much it. I love that it is handmade and all natural. In fact, we do most of our shopping at the local Manning Road Markets. Local and fresh! The way we love it. 

I had some left over pesto and drizzle some over it. It was truly divined. And bowl of comfort. After a long day of work, that was what I crave for. Simple food. 

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Cashew and Hazelnut Brittle (Paleo, Gluten Free, Clean Eating)

My husband is not a big snacker. You would think that with my constant experimenting in the kitchen, and fridge filled with snacks, he would be excited about it. Truth is, sometimes he is and sometimes he isn’t. Even if I have spent time making a double layer hazelnut torte (which I did!) for our Anniversary, he would eat it but he wouldn’t go hunting for it. 

I have said before that my husband has a better relationship with food than myself. He eats when he is hungry and if he enjoys it. He doesn’t see any whatsoever emotional attachment to food even if it is a cake for our anniversary. To him, our anniversary is bigger than a slice of cake. He is appreciative of course, but how he eats reflects his healthy relationship with good and attunement to his hunger cues. 

This brittle changes things (This plus cookies and sesame snaps). He raids the fridge for it. He requested it to be placed in his snack box. He loves it so much that the whole container disappeared in 2 days. 

Then I know, I have found a winner. Why wouldn’t this be? It is crunchy, it is rich and it is not sickly sweet. It is just a celebration of cashews, hazelnuts and vanilla creaminess with a crunch. 

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