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Extension of Time- Our 5th Wedding Anniversary

Has it been 5 years?

5 years since we said our vows.

5 years since we held our epic 3 weddings across 3 countries in 2 weeks?

I chose to write this post a little later because… I have to pause. To take it in. While we signed our papers on the 24th April, we maintained that we celebrate our anniversary on the 1st May- simply because it’s where our traditional ceremony and church wedding took place. Truth be told though, that we just pick the date when we can take time together so it changes every where when we “celebrate” it.

5 years later, we learned a few things. The biggest change this year, is of course the arrival of our son Asher. You could say that between year 4-5 of our marriage, we have to grow quickly. We learned how having a child can strengthen and provide challenges to a marriage. We learned about our weaknesses and vulnerabilities even more. We also learn how to make us a “family”.

Time will always be our biggest challenge. You would think me being at home means more time (ah, maybe I should document what I do at home one day in a post!), but in actual fact, it means as a couple we can lead even more separate lives than ever. Hubby works, wife looks after the house and baby- when we come together, we talk about our day and what happened.  However, it is very very challenging to sit and have long conversations about our plans and feelings. When we do sit down in the evening, it would be the night when Asher’s teeth will bother him, or he decides that he needs more settling than usual to sleep.

So we have to learn to adapt. We take long walks with Asher in the evening for around 2-3 times a week. Not only do we get to exercise, but we relish in catching up about what we have been thinking about. As a wife, I make a mental note to really listen to what’s happening at his work. Yes, I may not be working now, but that does not mean my husband working life isn’t important to me. I listened to his concerns and his excitement (even in computer lingo). I told myself to take in the moment and enjoy being with my husband rather than to make mental lists in my head on what to do next.

We decided that on weekends, we will have at least one family lunch outside of the home. It’s really lovely to be able to explore cafes and new places to eat. That is one thing hubby and I love doing pre baby and we decided this is one thing that needs to be continued post baby as well. Preparation is everything of course, but thankfully, Asher loves his food and usually can be entertained with his own toys and rusks for 20-30 minutes while we enjoy a meal together.

I also learned about myself. I learned that I want my hubby to love me first. This may sound selfish as of course I want him to love our little boy. But sometimes, I would prefer him to look after me. It’s so easy to fall down the trap of having the focus all on Asher, than it is nice when he offered me a back rub or to cook me dinner. It took a while for the both of us to realised that we have to look after each other while we look after Asher.

Which also means my hubby wants me to love him first. It’s hard and I do forget, but what happened to “how was your day” when he walked in the door? Instead, I bombard him with what happened to Asher’s day. Even if I do that, I try to stop myself and make a note to really be there and listen to him. I started making different sorts of breakfasts and snacks for him so that when he wakes up, everything is done. He just need to grab his lunch and snacks, and heat up his breakfasts. It’s funny but men does liked to be looked after in little ways like this. I try to take over some things he usually does so that he can have stress free time with Asher over the weekends.

We set little traditions as a family. Day trips, long car rides, or just simply chilling at home over home made banana berries ice cream. We realised that even after 5 years, it is those small things that we treasure. We have God first, then us, then Asher. It is the HARDEST prioritising thing we have done and still is trying to tweak and do. I suspect this is one of those things that we have to keep a pulse on.

Last year I wrote about spending time together. This year, it extends further than that. This year, it is about how we put each other ahead of being parents. One that we continue to strive and do.

Happy Anniversary my dear hubby- I’m in awe that we have spent the last 5 years together married. Five amazing ups and downs years. 5 years today, we held our traditional wedding ceremony. 5 years ago, we prayed that we will remember this day. We are here now and more to come.

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Words in a Marriage

Every year around this time, I am reminded of the blessings and challenges of marriage. A quick blink and here we are, on our 3rd year mark. Has it been 3 years since we committed to each other?

In year 1, I learned how to make marriage a choice in our daily lives. In year 2, I learned that we complement each other by using our strengths.

This year?

I learned how powerful words are in a marriage. Words are not just alphabets string together to mean something. It’s how we say it and how we use it that matters. Yes, we all had moments when we say things we don’t mean- and find it hard to take back. Words can single handily bring a person down or up.

I learned that he stands up stronger when  I say I believe in him. I noticed that he held his head up higher when I complemented him. The reverse is true, he noticed and encouraged me to meet my fitness goals. He  told me that my work is precious and he is so proud of me. He complemented my cooking and polish out my cookie jar.

Belief is such a funny thing. You can’t see it but you can feel it. And when we feel it, we can see it in our body language and attitude.

You may think, it’s only easy to be positive and uplifting when one is happy. Well, this past 12 months has been challenging. Role changes, family situations, health challenges, moving (more on that later)… it takes all our effort to remain affirmative towards each other. These are the moments that tests a marriage. One minute that we take our eyes off our marriage, the satan strikes.

Because I learned that if we don’t believe in each other, then who else will? If we don’t build each other up, then who will?

It doesn’t mean that we are hypocrites who are not honest and continued to smile through mistakes. It means we acknowledge that ok, this isn’t going well but let’s not play the blame game and what’s our next move. Because we believe it can be done. I am responsible for the decision as much as he does and verse versa. Now, this is hard. It’s one of the hardest thing I have done. The blame game is so much easier most days. To say we are a team, no.. we are the team.

My prayer for the next year is that I will be the uplifting and positive wife. God knows how much this is a challenge to me more than to Him. Sometimes, I wonder how can he be so uplifted when I haven’t been? But it comes back to filling the gap and knowing that love is wondrous.

To another year ahead. To a lifetime of curveballs.

To my husband of 3 years… Happy 3rd Year Anniversary.. and many more to come.


Filling the Gaps

It seems like yesterday when we became a couple. Then we got engaged, married…and a blink of an eye, it has been two years.

The first year, it was a year of discovery. A steep learning curve where we learned how to live with each other. To communicate, to put us first when making decisions. It was bitter sweet.

The second year though, I’m learning how to relax. I’m slowly realising that God gave us different gifts for a reason. For example, he knows that I become anxious when it comes to household finances, so He sent you to calm me down and take control in that department. Oh, and He knows that I need someone to wake me up in the morning, keep warm when it’s winter and wave your magic wand with excel file sheets (and all IT related situations).  Funny enough, you need me to provide you alternative perspectives, organise meals, connect with others and remember things (e.g. birthdays, things,..). 

 We are so different individuals. I like decisions to be made fast. You like to ponder. I’m anxious. You are calm. I grew up in a traditional Cantonese household. You grew up in a family rich in different cultures. I enjoy cooking in the kitchen. You prefer eating instead. I like the produce of the garden. You do the gardening. You literally planned all the electrical and data points of our future home. I prefer to look at the general layout, and how we are going to live there. I love eggplant. You want bittergourd.

And how we fight. Not in a bad way, but because we are different, we clash at times. Interestingly, it’s never the big issues that we clash. It’s the smaller, minute, day to day stuff. Like what time we are heading out to breakfast. Or whether or not we are heading out to groceries in the morning or afternoon. Those silly stuff that does not matter in the end. But I’m learning.

I’m learning that.. I have gaps. You have gaps. together we fill gaps.

At first these gaps were disturbing. You were quicker than me to accept that. I was perplexed and wondered how can we be so different? I had to resist the urge to impose me on you. 

I went back to our vows. And there it was. Would you believe it? We wrote our vows to complement each other. You said you will be the one to calm me down, to hold me… I said that I will fill you up, work together and encourage you regardless.

And because we fill each other gaps, we vowed to “Accomplish more than we ever could alone.”

God Almighty is amazing. He said it in Genesis 2:18. It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

And he gave me the privilege to do so.

I pray and hope that in the next year. I will have a thankful heart to appreciate and accept these differences.

To my dear husband. Happy 2 Year Anniversary…. and many more to come.


Smoked Salmon Ricotta Pasta

I’m really not sure the looks of this one. Having said that, it is probably one of the most easiest pasta dish I have done. Nothing can be more simpler than folding a couple of ricotta cheese through warmed pasta with smoked salmon. I cooked some corn, peas and sliced up capsicum on a pan with a little garlic and oil. Toss them though with pasta and viola. All done!

oh.. and err.. hehe. I got the inspiration from an add from Perfect Italiano- this hunk folding ricotta cheese through some basil pasta. *giggle giggle*-it’s a hilarious commercial!

What surprises me though is how creamy, tasty and fulfilling this dish is. And bonus? I found more recipes on the Perfect Italiano webbie!

Smoked Salmon Ricotta Pasta (serves 4)
250 grams of pasta cooked and drained

1 cup of corn
1 cup of peas
1 huge red capsicum
1 tub of ricotta cheese.

Parmesan cheese to serve with.

Saute veges with oil and garlic. Toss through veges and pasta then add chopped up smoked salmon. Fold cheese through. Serve with Parmesan cheese and cracked pepper.

Sharing this with my friends from Presto Pasta founded by Ruth from Once Upon a Feast. This week’s host is the awesome Rachel from Crispy Cook (love that name btw!).

*mid week bump* Just a gentle reminder to vote for me for the Bride of the Month please!!! As daily as you can. Thank you!!!! *muacks*

Bride of the Month-Sept

Woohoo! We just received news in our inbox that I am in the running for the bride of the month (Sept). Therefore, I’m asking a HUGE HUGE HUGE favour from everyone to please vote for us (me!).

This entry was based on our Perth wedding celebrations-and what a blast it was!!!

Please Vote Here.

The tricky thing is that everyone is allowed to vote once per day so it would be even better if voting is done daily. I know it’s a huge ask.. I really really do appreciate it.

View our Perth wedding day here.


Our Singapore Wedding-1st May 2009

Singapore was our 2nd wedding celebration. As a Singaporean with many friends and family in my home country, we made the easy decision to the biggest leg of the wedding celebration there. When I look back on that day, it was filled with so much emotion-largely joy and thanksgiving that words just cannot easily comprehend it.

Alot of our coordination has to be done via email. Not forgetting, our beautiful friends Peggy, Ruth who did alot of errands for us when we were not around. Ben who flew from Adel provided much needed support..and he was strangely quiet that day but so efficient! I turned around after our church ceremony and then remembered that we hardly took a photo with him…so I gave him this huge hug and the amount of emotions that flow through just explained it all. He wanted to give it his all for us that day and he was just happy to be with us.

I recall just feeling a sense of peace. It doesnt matter what went wrong because I am marrying the guy of my dreams. A sense of happiness that yes, the day is finally here. As we were gathered around our closest friends and family, it was their joy of wanting to be there for us, making the huge effort to fly in from various countries just to be with us that touched us tremendously.

We are very very blessed with the best of the best family and friends. It is God’s love, and our family and friends’ love that taught us what true love is.

All credits to Wang Yixin and Kelvin Koh for their wonderful photography from Lighted Pixels.

In this little box of old rusty chocolate box lies folded hearts and a little pocket watch. I folded those hearts when I was around 10 years old, praying that I will one day present this to my prince. A little cliche but I wanted AR to know that God has a reason for bringing us together and I prayed hard for him!

Irene, my dear aunt, made a very pretty dress for our flower girl (Sophia, her daugther). I simply love this innocent but so pretty shot!

The lethal wasabi and chili padi cupcake. Courtesy of Irene again. See how doting my aunt is? She made sure that AR worked EXTRA hard to enter the door to marry me. Ps- the boys had to go through a series of tasks before they are allowed into my home to fetch the bride. This was just one of the tasks! They had to knock on neighbour’s door for well wishes, decode a bible verse, eat and drink items that represent sweet, sour, bitter and spicy and AR had to learn how to shout a love declaration in Cantonese!

Our mothers! They are born in the same year, similar size, both have hobbies in the singing/dancing arena..speaks cantonese.. People kept mistaking them as sisters!

My grandmother. This lady changed my life. She took cared of me since I was 3 days old and has not stopped since. She is MY rock and the person who I adore. A very giving grandmother with lots of guts and great sense of humour!

Ah.. I had to “reward” Isaac at the rehearsal night. Each time he does the “walk stop walk stop” down the aisle, he had a lolly.. Lucky I bought a packet of aeroplane shaped gummy sweets that night. I was his new found best friend. His mum, Irene said he has never had that many lollies before!
What makes me laugh is that even after the wedding, he continues to practise the walk by saying “walk stop walk stop…AND GET MARRIED!” Things kiddies learn.
They did SOOOO well on the actual day though. VERY VERY proud of Isaac and Sophia!

MY dearest and most giving Dad. Just having him walk me down the aisle..and feeling his support and emotions…. He was soo proud and I was so proud to have him as my father.
I ADORE this shot of us heading back as husband and wife.. and my mum just look so happy and excited for us.

My most gorgeous bridesmaids. Cupcakes that Irene made- THEY WERE DELICIOUS! I am blessed with the BEST aunt in the world who dwelled in our excitement, sew dresses, sew our ring pillow, baked cupcakes, helped with the tea ceremony AND was the MC! I don’t know what else she cannot do…

I have to comment on this moment because I recall feeling like an ABSOLUTE princess during our dinner march in. With the bubbles on and our guests showering us with petals of blessing, my heart swelled with alot of joy. The dear husband kept whispering, slow down…take it in..AND took it in we did.

My best friends decided to sing a song for us..and not only that.. did a video slideshow of our best times as kids growing up. I bawled my eyes out that time.
This was taken when I was thanking Irene . and even looking at these two photos brought me back to the night when I made the speech. Nothing in the world can express my gratitude and how I treasure our relationship. We may be “aunt and niece” but we grew up together thinking we were cousins..and our relationship resemble more of sisters. She is one of the strongest woman I met- having faced through several trials in her life but always always have an optimistic and cheerful attitude.

Zinna is my pastor’s wife. I love her to bits. She is like a mentor to me and always advises me on relationships and life in general. She was also the one who constantly asked us to pray for our future partner when I was a teenager.
My uncle danry who flew from HK to be with us just for that day! He was the man who drove mum and me home when I was 3 days old… and granny said I didnt even dare to close my eyes as a little baby because of his driving! He was also the man who “encouraged” me to walk by allowing me to hold his little finger and then letting it go… mum and dad have a photo of me walking with my hand/fist in the air thinking that I still had uncle danry for support! SNEAKY!

And then us. At the end of the night, still buzzing.. The party did not end till 2am that day. Our guests stayed till late.. A funny story was that we were asked to line up outside to greet our guests as they exit,…and after waiting for 5 minutes, we realized guests were NOT exiting! They were still inside sitting, chatting, eating and having a BLAST of a time. Some guests even stayed and went to the bar for a few drinks.. We loved it all. We love that guests did not want to go..we did not want the party to end either.

It was a true celebration of our love for each other and we are very proud and excited to be surrounded by such wonderful people!

So here we go. Our wedding celebrations. Every date was memorable and the way we want it to be. To be married is one of the best feeling in the world.

Spicy Tomato Seafood Marinara Pasta + our Perth Wedding photos!

I’m pretty excited! We received our Perth Wedding Proof photos-and we are blown away by them!

hehee, Bet everyone is sick of looking at our Wedding photos. It seems never ending isn’t it? Irene’s husband came up to us and said that it is like a wedding party that never ends! We hope they were good parties though! =)

I love this photo of Haz. Haz and I went through primary, secondary and university life together. I was sooo upset when she left Perth to Germany! I’m not too upset that she married a great guy though! AR and I were so touched that they made so much effort to fly all the way from Germany to attend two out of three of our wedding celebrations.
Haz and her gorgeous husband!
We are truly blessed to have been surrounded by the best family members and friends throughout those events. I mean, not everyone has the chance to celebrate their big day(s) with people that are so important.

My very handsome husband.

The food was great! Barely ate any though!

And of course, I cannot miss dancing with the kids!

BTW, we are still waiting for our Singapore wedding photos-and THAT was our biggest celebration so stay tune!
ok.. to the pasta! =)

In the past seafood marinara to me means leftover seafood that supermarkets want to get rid off. You know, those little bits of fish, imitation crab meat, perhaps some mussels all throw in together? Recently, I realized that Woolies actually have the fresh stuff as their marinara AND no imitation crab meat! They throw in salmon, calamari, prawns and heaps of mussels! That was when I decided on a spicy tomato marinara pasta for one of our quick weeknight meals.

Spicy Tomato Seafood Marinara Pasta
300grams of seafood marinara mix
3 roma tomates chopped
1/2 cup of corn kennels
1 chilli chopped
1 tsp of garlic
1/2 packet of pasta
1 tsp of tobasco sauce
couple of tablespoons of olive oil
salt and pepper

Cook pasta and set aside. Heat olive oil in pan. Add garlic and chili and cook till done. Add seafood and cook for around 2-3 minutes..adding corn and chopped tomatoes as well. Season to taste. Add abit of water if it is too dry. Dont forget the tobasco sauce. Season. Toss pasta with marinara mix.

Dishing this out for my friends at Pasta Presto! Ruth the founder of Presto Pasta is hosting. I’m looking forward to all the delicious pasta/noodles round up!

Spicy Chicken Mince Tofu with Bean Paste Sauce on Mung Bean Vermicilli

And so we have been married for just over 1 month. =)

Some may say argue that marriage should not change a relationship- but I beg to differ. It’s funny how our brains work- despite being a dating couple for so many years, marriage just bring us closer. Another step ahead. Ee are family now. The responsibilities, future planning, fianaces is just a notch higher than before. AR even speaks like a husband… just the way he stand, the ideas he brought forward and when I asked what changed, he looked at me and say.. well, i’m a husband now.. I am responsible for the family too. No longer me you but it’s always us.

Our jobs for instance has been a topic of discussion lately. One of my closest colleague has decided to resign. Well actually, I’m the last person standing at the moment till more ppl decides to join us. AR raised a very good point that my horrible working hours are affecting him as well- that made me really think hard. It’s no longer about what my career choices are but what each decision affect us.

And what about food you say? According to AR, his colleague said that his lunches look and smell better now that he is married…. hey! that’s unfair.. it has always been me making his can they be different? LOL =)

Some photos from our KL Wedding Celebrations:

Preparations- I was in a Red Cheongsum
Love our big big suite in Sunway Lagoon!

Tea Ceremony:

My gorgous lace gown:

Banquet Dinner:

Just before march in:
With our cousins:
My very happy parents:

My 7th Gown (3rd gown for that night but 7th from all celebrations):

The toast!!!
hehee.. Irene is going to kill me with this one- but I LOVE IT!!! She is my closest and best aunt choosing to travel all the way from SG to KL to attend our celebrations. Seeing her makes me smile!

Our lovely friends who travelled from Australia and Singapore to be with us in KL!

OK, I know I have not been blogging about food lately so I’m going to end this super long post with a dish that is really quick but yummy to prepare.

Spicy Chicken Mince Tofu with Bean Paste Sauce on a bed of Mung Bean Vermicilli
200 grams of chicken mince
1 tsp of garlic
olive oil
chopped carrots
1 cup of chopped peas
1 hard tofu
2 tablespoons of spicy bean paste
3 tablespoons of chinese wine
1/4 cup of chicken stock

mung bean vermicilli- two small bunches

1) Soak mung bean vermicilli in water till it becomes soft. Drain and seperate into portions.

2) Meanwhile, heat oil in work. Pat dry tofu with paper towels and chopped into cubes. When oil is hot, fry tofu till golden. Drain with papertowels again and set aside.

3) Same wok- add a little oil if needed, fry garlic. Add chicken mince in and fry till nearly done breaking up the pieces. Add all veges, bean paste and stock. Simmer. Add tofu after 5 minutes.

4) Taste and add salt/pepper accordingly. Spoon mixture onto mung bean vermicilli.

5) Serve! =)

I am dishing this with wedding love on Presto Pasta! Hosted by Sara from I’mfoodblog and founded by Ruth from Once Upon a Feast.

Our Wedding Day 24th of April 2009

I’m back!

and proudly as Mrs R! =)

We had a blast of a time and all 3 wedding celebrations went soo smoothly and wonderfully. The time of our lives. I’m still hanging out for our photos but thought I could take this chance to reflect back on our celebrations. Here is a sample of some professional photos that our photographer took… I’m really keen to see more!!

24th April 2009
On the 24th of April 2009, 5:30pm- we held our Perth solemization and reception. Oh what an amazing afternoon that was. It was raining the week before but that day..just that day was bright and sunny. As I checked into Duxton Hotel and getting all dolled up, I held tightly to our vows..and ponder and wonder about that day and our life together.

We decided to meet 15 minutes before the ceremony and that was probably the best decision we made that evening. Seeing him calmed my nerves. We happily discussed what happened the previous 2 days and prayed for the evening to go smoothly and our marriage to be blessed with forgiveness, love and faith.

Then it was time..and we walked down the white carpet together. I giggled and he slowly held me back..reminding me to walk slowly…savouring the moment.

And what a moment it was. We had a small ceremony with only about 15 ppl (including us) but it was the intimacy that was magical.

The vows were said.. my voice quivered, few tears rolled down.. while I slipped the ring on his finger. It felt right. This is our future.

Then we had photos taken.. we walked away hand in hand to have some alone time..and the reception.

Our host, a great friend from uni requested for guests to write little notes of what “love is…” to us.

Here are some of the notes that we recieved:

– Love is 3 parts affection, 7 parts understanding.
– Love is to say he is always Mr Right.
– Love is when Daddy or Mummy stays up all night to soothe me when I’m crying.
– Love is when you look into each others eyes and forget all your worries.
– Love is forgiving and knowing you will be together. No matter what.
– Love is when I say I’m hungry and he will cook.

We arranged for the teenagers or young ladies as I call them to take polaroid photos of everyone and to ask them to write little messages on the guest book. As we read back those messages, it really really warmed our hearts.

And we can’t go past the night without the traditional Yum Seng can we? *smiles*

I’m not sure if words can describe my emotions. Our Perth reception was kept simple but the simplicity worked for us. I felt happy, blissed and simply just content. At that moment, there was no reason to be unhappy but every reason to look forward to our future together. It is that powerful, that binding…

It is us.

The best thing is that because of our heritage and our families being overseas, we had two more to look forward to after that evening. More traditional and alot more people involved! Still, nothing can take away the magical and loved feel of the 24th of April 2009.

ps- our computer also crashed AND died on the 24th of April 2009 which makes it even more memorable huh? Becuase of that some of my files are lost and it will take me some time to upload some new recipes… but they will be back! =)